Make these 13 mistakes and you’ll end up in a one-sided relationship

Avoid one-sided love by not making these mistakes.

A woman with long curly hair, wearing a wide-brimmed hat and red lipstick, gazes at a man under an umbrella on a rainy day. The man has a beard and is facing her, with only the back of his head visible.

Love can be a powerful force, but it can also blind us to the harsh realities of an unbalanced relationship. If you find yourself constantly giving while receiving little in return, you might be trapped in a one-sided partnership. Here are 13 crucial mistakes that could lead you down this treacherous path. Recognizing these pitfalls is the first step toward reclaiming your worth and fostering healthier connections.

1. Accepting relationship inequality as “just the way it is”.

A couple sits closely together on a leather couch at home, both wearing cozy sweaters. The man has a serious expression and gently touches the woman's arm, while she looks down pensively. A laptop is open on the table in front of them, and the room is warmly lit.

Relationships are supposed to be partnerships, not dictatorships. Yet, many people find themselves in situations where they’re doing all the heavy lifting while their partner coasts along. They convince themselves that this imbalance is normal or unavoidable. But here’s the truth: it’s not. Healthy relationships require effort from both parties.

By accepting inequality as the status quo, you’re setting a dangerous precedent that can erode your self-esteem and lead to resentment over time. Remember, you deserve a partner who matches your energy and commitment. Don’t settle for less simply because you’ve convinced yourself it’s the norm.

2. Making excuses for your partner’s lack of effort.

A young couple holding hands while walking outdoors and drinking coffee. Both are wearing sunglasses, with the woman in a pink hoodie and jeans, and the man in a yellow hoodie and jeans. They appear to be enjoying a pleasant day in a park-like setting.

I had a friend who was always covering for her boyfriend’s shortcomings. “He’s just busy with work,” she’d say when he forgot her birthday. Or, “He’s not good at expressing emotions,” when he failed to comfort her during tough times. It’s a slippery slope, and before you know it, you’re the relationship’s PR manager, constantly spinning your partner’s failures into acceptable behavior.

This not only allows their lack of effort to continue but also diminishes your own needs and expectations. It’s crucial to recognize the difference between understanding your partner’s limitations and making excuses for their negligence. Don’t let love cloud your judgment or lower your standards.

3. Taking on more responsibility because “someone’s got to do it”.

A woman and a man sit on a couch having a serious conversation. The woman gestures with her hand while looking at the man, who is listening attentively. Both are dressed in casual white shirts. A wooden shutter door is in the background.

When one partner consistently drops the ball, it’s tempting for the other to pick up the slack. After all, bills need paying, dishes need washing, and decisions need making. But beware: this seemingly practical approach can quickly become a burden.

By shouldering more than your fair share, you’re not only exhausting yourself but also enabling your partner’s lack of responsibility. Over time, this imbalance can breed resentment and frustration.

Instead of automatically stepping in, communicate your expectations clearly. Encourage your partner to pull their weight. Remember, a relationship is a team effort, not a one-person show.

4. Not setting realistic expectations from the beginning.

A young woman with long red hair and wearing a white polka dot shirt and green skirt holds hands with a man in a light pink shirt while walking on a path through a grassy field at sunset. She looks over her shoulder towards the camera.

The early days of a relationship are crucial for establishing patterns and expectations. Yet, many people shy away from discussing their needs and boundaries, fearing they might scare their partner away. This reluctance to be upfront can lead to misunderstandings and disappointments down the line.

It’s essential to have open, honest conversations about what you both want and expect from the relationship. This doesn’t mean presenting a list of demands, but rather creating a mutual understanding of each other’s values, goals, and dealbreakers. By setting clear expectations early on, you’re laying the groundwork for a balanced and respectful partnership.

5. Making empty threats to end the relationship.

A man and a woman stand back-to-back with a wall separating them. Both have their arms crossed and appear upset. The man wears a light blue shirt, and the woman wears a peach-colored blouse. The background shows white blinds partially covering a window.

Threatening to leave when things get tough might seem like a way to motivate your partner or express your frustration. However, this tactic is not only ineffective but potentially harmful to your relationship. Empty threats erode trust and create an atmosphere of instability. Your partner may start to doubt your commitment or, worse, become desensitized to the idea of losing you.

If you find yourself regularly threatening to end things, it’s time to take a step back and examine the root causes of your dissatisfaction. Are you communicating your needs effectively? Are there unresolved issues that need addressing? Focus on constructive communication rather than ultimatums.

6. Taking more than your fair share of the blame for things.

A woman and a man are sitting back-to-back on a grassy lawn. The woman, with long brown hair, has her eyes closed and is leaning her head slightly to one side with her hand resting on her head. The man, with short dark hair and a beard, also has his eyes closed.

In a one-sided relationship, it’s easy to fall into the trap of shouldering most of the blame when things go wrong. You might find yourself apologizing for situations that aren’t entirely your fault or taking responsibility for your partner’s mistakes. This behavior can stem from a desire to keep the peace or a misguided belief that you’re somehow not worthy of fair treatment.

However, constantly accepting blame can lead to a distorted view of yourself and your relationship. It’s important to recognize that both partners contribute to the dynamics of a relationship, both positive and negative. Stand up for yourself when necessary and encourage your partner to take responsibility for their actions.

7. Avoiding uncomfortable discussions with your partner.

A woman with blonde hair, wearing a gray sweater, rests her head on her hand and looks pensive. A man in the background, who is out of focus, appears to be sitting with his arms crossed, wearing a blue and white striped shirt.

Sweeping issues under the rug might seem like a way to maintain harmony, but it’s a recipe for long-term dissatisfaction. Difficult conversations are a necessary part of any healthy relationship. By avoiding them, you’re allowing problems to fester and grow. Whether it’s about finances, intimacy, or future plans, addressing concerns head-on is crucial.

Yes, these discussions can be uncomfortable, but they’re also opportunities for growth and understanding. Approach these conversations with empathy and an open mind. Remember, the goal isn’t to win an argument, but to find solutions together. A partner who consistently shuts down important discussions may not be ready for a mature, balanced relationship.

8. Constantly prioritizing your partner’s needs over your own.

A woman with a serious expression sits in the foreground, resting one hand on her head. A man in the background sits blurred, looking in the opposite direction. Both appear to be in a tense or thoughtful moment indoors.

While compromise is essential in any relationship, consistently putting your partner’s needs before your own can lead to an unhealthy imbalance. It’s like being on an airplane and securing your own oxygen mask before assisting others—you can’t help others if you’re not taking care of yourself first.

Neglecting your own needs and desires can lead to burnout, resentment, and a loss of self-identity. It’s crucial to maintain a balance between supporting your partner and honoring your own needs. Remember, self-care isn’t selfish; it’s necessary for maintaining a healthy, balanced relationship.

9. Failing to communicate your own needs and desires clearly.

Two people standing outdoors near a body of water on a cloudy day. The person in the foreground, wearing a black coat and a black hat, looks off into the distance. The person in the background, also in a dark coat, faces away, adding a sense of solitude.

Clear communication is the lifeblood of any healthy relationship, yet many people struggle to express their needs and desires openly. Perhaps you’re afraid of seeming demanding or you believe your partner should intuitively understand what you want. However, mind-reading isn’t a relationship skill, and unexpressed needs often lead to disappointment and frustration.

It’s important to articulate your thoughts, feelings, and expectations clearly and respectfully. This doesn’t mean bombarding your partner with demands, but rather fostering an environment of open dialogue where both parties feel comfortable expressing themselves. After all, your needs are valid and deserving of consideration.

10. Accepting emotional unavailability as normal.

A young woman with long brown hair, wearing a green jacket, embraces a man with short hair and a beard, who is dressed in a gray sweater. They stand outdoors with greenery in the background, both appearing content and close.

In a one-sided relationship, one partner may consistently withhold emotional support or intimacy. If you find yourself constantly craving emotional connection while your partner remains distant, you might be dealing with emotional unavailability.

It’s easy to make excuses for this behavior or convince yourself that it’s normal, especially if you have a history of similar relationships. However, emotional intimacy is a crucial component of a healthy partnership. A consistently unavailable partner can leave you feeling lonely and unfulfilled, even when you’re not physically alone. It’s important to recognize that you deserve emotional support and connection in your relationship.

11. Letting the fear of being alone dictate your decisions.

Close-up of a person with long hair looking out a window with raindrops on it. They are touching their face with both hands, and their expression appears contemplative. The background is blurred. Their nails are painted red, with a decorative design on one nail.

The fear of solitude can be a powerful force, often pushing people to stay in unfulfilling relationships. You might find yourself tolerating behavior you wouldn’t accept from a friend, or compromising your values, all to avoid being single. This fear can cloud your judgment, making you overlook red flags or settle for less than you deserve.

Remember, being in a relationship doesn’t automatically equate to happiness, especially if that relationship is one-sided or unhealthy. It’s crucial to develop a strong sense of self-worth and to recognize that your happiness shouldn’t depend solely on your relationship status. Sometimes, being alone is better than being in a relationship that diminishes your spirit.

12. Believing that love alone is enough to sustain a healthy relationship.

A woman with long blonde hair wearing a white shirt sits on a light-colored sofa, looking contemplative and resting her head on her hand. In the background, a man with short hair in a white shirt and jeans sits, looking away and slightly blurred.

Love is undoubtedly a crucial element in any romantic partnership, but it’s not a cure-all for relationship problems. Many people cling to the idea that if they love their partner enough, everything else will fall into place. This belief can lead to overlooking serious issues or incompatibilities.

A healthy relationship requires more than just love—it needs mutual respect, shared values, effective communication, and a willingness to grow together. Love can provide a strong foundation, but it’s the daily efforts, compromises, and shared experiences that build a lasting, balanced relationship. Don’t let the intensity of your feelings blind you to the practical aspects of your partnership.

13. Assuming responsibility for your partner’s happiness or personal growth.

A man and a woman are lying on a bed with their heads next to each other, looking upward. The man wears a light green shirt, and the woman is in a white top. Both appear relaxed and thoughtful, set against the neutral tones of the bedspread.

While supporting your partner’s well-being and growth is admirable, taking full responsibility for these aspects can lead to an unhealthy dynamic. You might find yourself constantly trying to ‘fix’ your partner or manage their emotions, neglecting your own needs in the process. This behavior can stem from a misguided sense of love or a desire to be needed.

However, true personal growth and happiness must come from within. Your partner is responsible for their own journey, just as you are for yours. By assuming this responsibility, you’re not only burdening yourself unnecessarily but also potentially hindering your partner’s personal development. Focus on being a supportive presence rather than a caretaker or fixer.