Socially awkward people who ooze confidence use these 10 hacks

Are You Socially Awkward?

Two women enjoying coffee together outdoors. One woman, with glasses and a braid, holds a black cup and smiles at the other woman, who is blurred in the foreground. The background features a green, blurred natural setting.

Do you feel nervous or uncomfortable in group settings? Do you feel self-conscious about everything you do? If you answered yes to these questions, you are probably at least a tad bit socially awkward.

It is okay if you are. I used to be too. Before I went to college, I would completely lock up in social situations. If you got a group of more than two people together, I would just shut down and sit there mute. But I learned how to overcome it, and so can you – if you want to.

Some people are perfectly happy quietly engaging from the sidelines or avoiding group dynamics altogether, and that’s ok. Variety is the spice of life after all.

But, if you do want to be more engaged in social situations and find it hard, here are 10 simple hacks that socially awkward people use that will help boost your confidence.

1. They Remember That They Are Not Alone

A group of four young adults sit on a stylish, illuminated staircase, engaged in lively conversation. They appear casual and happy, with warm lighting enhancing the cozy atmosphere. The person on the far right is looking directly at the camera, smiling.

Almost everyone will occasionally worry about being socially awkward in public. You may think it is just you who suffers, but you are wrong. Perhaps even the person that you are having the awkward conversation with is also feeling out of place and insecure. We all want to be liked, and we all worry that we aren’t.

2. They Realize That It Is Mostly Internal

A young woman with long brown hair and dressed in a white blouse and beige coat sits on a yellow bench outdoors. She gazes off to the side with a contemplative expression. The background shows an urban street setting.

I know you are convinced that everyone noticed your awkward laugh or joked for days about the weird thing you said, but I promise they didn’t. The truth is that you are not the center of the universe. No one is focusing on how uncomfortable you are. No one notices that you are sweating. People are caught up in their own worlds, and they do not have the time to put much thought into your stuttering.

3. They Focus On The Other Person

Two friends sit at a wooden bar in a cozy, dimly-lit pub with brick arch ceilings. They are smiling and laughing while holding burgers. A glass of beer is on the counter in front of each of them. Decorative plants and condiments are also on the countertop.

Instead of always worrying about how you are coming across, think about the other person as you talk. How are they feeling? What are they saying? Are they uncomfortable too? Focus on the other person instead of yourself. You will immediately feel less anxious if you take yourself out of your own spotlight.

4. They Ask A Lot Of Questions

Two women are sitting at a table, smiling and holding takeaway coffee cups. One woman has curly red hair and is wearing a light blue shirt, the other has long blonde hair and is wearing a red blouse. They appear to be engaged in a friendly conversation.

Anytime you are feeling awkward, give yourself a break from the conversation by asking questions instead of filling the silence with chatter. Not only will you put it on the other person to talk for a while, but you will also learn something about them. The more that you know, the more you will able to converse naturally. Plus, people like to talk about themselves. Take advantage of this fact.

5. They Fake It Til’ They Make It

Two workers in safety helmets and plaid shirts sit on a stack of wooden planks, taking a break in a warehouse. They hold clipboards and smile at each other. Shelves stocked with materials line the background, and a forklift is partially visible behind them.

Pretend you have great social skills. Dying inside? Don’t let it show on the outside. Smile and say hi to people. Research has shown that you can actually change how you feel by your behavior. If you smile enough, you are bound to be happier. If you act confident, you will become more confident over time. So until you master the skills you want, just pretend! It sounds harder than it is. Give it a try the next time you find yourself getting anxious.

6. They Practice

Two professionals in business attire have a friendly conversation on a bright and modern office balcony. In the background, two other pairs of colleagues are also engaged in discussions. The environment is open and airy, with contemporary decor.

Just like every other skill in life, you get better with practice. So even if the thought makes you squirm, find more social situations to practice in. Put yourself in situations that make you uncomfortable. Don’t worry – after a little while you won’t feel as much discomfort. It will get easier with practice. Even if you never enjoy large groups, you can teach yourself to function in them.

7. They Learn To Improvise

A group of five people casually talking and enjoying drinks on an outdoor terrace. They appear to be relaxed, with some smiling and holding glasses. The background includes a view of the landscape, featuring greenery and a body of water.

You have to learn to improvise. A lot of your social awkwardness comes from overthinking situations. So instead of overthinking, teach yourself to be in the moment. An improv class is a great way to learn this skill. And it helps with tip #3 because you’ll be practicing your new skills with a group of people!

8. They Find A Socially Skilled Buddy

Three women sit around a wooden table enjoying hot beverages and snacks. One woman, with pink hair, holds a cup and smiles. Knit items and yarn are scattered on the table. Large windows in the background let in natural light, creating a cozy atmosphere.

Do you have a friend who is social and popular? Start hanging out with that person more often. Tag along to social events. Have them introduce you to people and observe their behavior. Chime into the small talk that your friend initiates with other people. Over time you will learn to be the one who initiates that conversation.

9. They Respond To Embarrassment Well

Three women are sitting at a table in a café, enjoying coffee and laughing together. The table has a small potted plant on it. The background shows large windows with sunlight streaming in and some greenery visible through the glass.

Everybody does something that embarrasses them from time to time. Even the most confident person in the world has said or done something that made the situation awkward. The difference between the confident person and the awkward person is how they respond. The confident person doesn’t call attention to the awkward moment. The confident person doesn’t dwell on it or beat himself up. The moment passes by and is forgotten. However, the socially awkward person does dwell on the faux pas which just makes it worse for everyone involved. The past is the past. Learn to move on.

10. They Practice Relaxation

A diverse group of four adults, dressed in athletic wear, practice yoga outdoors. They are standing with eyes closed and arms extended, appearing serene. The background features lush greenery, a body of water, and mountain scenery under a clear sky.

As often as you can, practice relaxation. Find out what works for you. Yoga, meditation, and bubble baths are common stress relievers. Take deep breaths to calm yourself down. The more you practice how it feels to be relaxed, the better you will be able to calm yourself when you feel the pressure building in a social situation. For example, if you practice deep breaths during your relaxation breaks, taking those same deep breaths when you feel anxiety mounting may allow you to turn it around.

Finally…

A group of four young adults sitting at a table, engaging in conversation. One woman with long hair in a ponytail, wearing a gray top, is speaking while holding a yellow mug. The table has various beverages and snacks. Light streams in from a window behind them.

If you follow these confidence hacks, you will be well on your way to becoming a more self-assured individual, if that’s what you want.

That socially awkward person you used to know will be in your rearview mirror. Now, it does take some time, and nothing is going to change overnight. But it is worth it. You will be able to hold conversations, enjoy social settings, and even look forward to party invitations.

So instead of locking yourself in your house for the rest of your life, get out there and learn to live in this big world. There is so much to experience and so many great people to interact with. You don’t want to miss it just because you are afraid you will do something embarrassing.