If you really want to be a better human being, say goodbye to these 12 behaviors

Stop doing these things to become a better person.

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There are behaviors that others admire and respect in those around them, and those that fill them with contempt. If you put any of the following behaviors into action on a regular basis, now is your chance to curb them and work on becoming a much better human being.

1. Making assumptions about other people.

A woman with medium-length brown hair and red lipstick is making a disgusted or uncomfortable facial expression. She is wearing a black sleeveless top and a necklace with a small pendant. The background is plain white.

Many of us assume things about others instead of asking them about their behaviors or intentions. We never know the reality of another’s story until we talk to them about it, so before you create a narrative for another person based on your fictions, ask them about their truths.

2. Using past experiences to cultivate hate or bias.

A person with shoulder-length brown hair and red lipstick is wearing a black leather jacket over a red shirt. They are standing against a plain white background with their arms crossed and a serious expression on their face.

Countless people use their own past negative experiences as justification as to why they hate a particular type of person. This can lead to rampant racism, bigotry, misogyny/misandry, and so on. Treat each person as an individual, rather than making them guilty by association because they remind you of someone else.

3. Being judgmental toward others.

A woman with curly red hair stands against a light gray textured wall. She is wearing a light gray and white striped sweater and black pants. Her arms are crossed, and she has a somewhat confused or uncertain expression on her face.

Every individual walking around out there is a magnificent embodiment of the universe experiencing existence in their own way. Just because someone’s personal choices, aesthetics, or preferences don’t mesh with yours, doesn’t mean they’re wrong: they’re simply different from your own. Let people enjoy things on their own terms.

4. Being critical toward yourself.

A man with wavy brown hair and a beard is sitting on a beach, wearing a leather jacket. He appears deep in thought as he looks slightly downward. The ocean and a clear blue sky are in the background.

Our outer worlds often reflect our inner ones, so if you find that you’re being unnecessarily critical toward others, it may be because you’re projecting some self-loathing or self-criticism onto them. Be kinder and more accepting toward yourself and you’ll naturally be kinder toward others.

5. Being cruel to others on social media.

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Don’t use your online anonymity as an opportunity to be horrible to others as a heat-sink for your frustrations about all the ugliness unfolding in the world. It’s not okay to unleash your negative emotions onto strangers online, as they’re very real people who are also struggling the same way you are.

6. Summarily dismissing other people’s views or abilities.

A woman and man are engaged in a serious conversation in an office setting. The woman, on the left, is gesturing with her hands, while the man, on the right, is responding with a focused expression and hand gestures. Both are dressed in business attire.

You may not think that the person you just met is worth listening to or working with because they don’t have the same qualifications or experience that you have, but that doesn’t mean they don’t have some extraordinary insights or abilities to share. Give others the chance to surprise you.

7. Refusing to accept accountability for your actions.

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We all make mistakes, but acknowledging wrongdoing and taking steps to repair any damage done shows immense character and integrity. In contrast, refusing accountability and insisting that you’re never at fault will show others that you’re untrustworthy. Accepting that you’ve messed up is uncomfortable, but it’s a mark of a decent human being.

8. Treating some people as less than you are.

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Just because someone doesn’t have the same education, career prestige, or attractiveness level that you do, doesn’t make them a lesser human being. Everything that makes you think you’re better than others can change on a dime, so treat everyone with the same level of respect you’d like to receive if roles were reversed.

9. Choosing to ignore the consequences of your actions.

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Every pebble you throw is going to have a ripple effect, so it’s important to be aware of that before you act. If you choose to antagonize someone, be aware of any dissonance you place between your action and their reaction: this didn’t happen in a vacuum, it’s cause and effect.

10. Complaining non-stop.

An elderly man with a white beard and mustache is wearing a bright yellow raincoat with the hood on and a green shirt underneath. He has a displeased or strained expression on his face. The background is a solid light blue color.

Some people tend to complain instead of taking action to improve their situations. If you can change things that are upsetting you, then do so instead of moaning about them. And if you can’t, learn to accept them with grace and work with what you’ve got. Everyone has their own cross to bear.

11. Not reciprocating kindnesses.

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If you don’t show sincere appreciation for the kind things others do for you—or reciprocate them on a regular basis—then they won’t be inclined to do anything for you in the future. Show gratitude for those who are kind to you, and do the same for them whenever possible.

12. Living in constant fear.

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Frank Herbert, author of the Dune series of books, was right about fear being the mind-killer. If you live in a place of fear, you aren’t thinking rationally, and you’re likely treating others poorly in an attempt to make yourself feel more comfortable and safe, by any means necessary. Choose to be mindful, capable, brave, and kind instead.