If you’re trying to get ahead in life by doing these 11 things, you’re doing it wrong

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These things won’t help you succeed like you think they will.

A man in a suit appears stressed, holding both hands to his temples. His eyebrows are furrowed, and he looks down, as if lost in thought or concern. The background is softly blurred with warm lights.

In the pursuit of success, many of us fall into common traps that can hinder our progress rather than propel us forward. While the intention behind these actions may be good, they often lead us astray from genuine growth and fulfillment. Let’s explore 11 misguided approaches to getting ahead in life and uncover more effective strategies for personal and professional development.

1. Waiting for the perfect moment to start.

A woman with long brown hair rests her chin on her hand, looking pensive. She is wearing a blue denim jacket and has a thoughtful expression. The background is blurred and bright, suggesting an outdoor setting with sunlight.

Procrastination disguised as preparation is a sneaky adversary. That elusive “perfect moment” you’re waiting for? It’s a mirage. Success doesn’t materialize from inaction; it’s born from taking that first step, however imperfect it may be.

Instead of idling in anticipation, embrace the power of now. Start with what you have, where you are. Imperfect action trumps perfect inaction every time. Remember, even the most successful individuals began their journeys with small, often clumsy steps.

If you dive in and learn as you go, you’ll gain valuable experience and momentum. Each day you wait is a missed opportunity for growth and progress. So, take a deep breath, push past the fear of imperfection, and begin your journey today. The perfect moment is the one you create by taking action.

2. Planning every little detail.

A person with long brown hair, dressed in a light-colored shirt, is lying on a bed while writing in a notebook with a black pen. The bed has grayish bedding and an open book lies next to them. The scene appears calm and focused.

Meticulousness has its place, but when it comes to life’s grand journey, over-planning can be a creativity killer. Mapping out every minute detail might feel like progress, but it often leads to analysis paralysis and missed opportunities.

Life’s unpredictable nature means that no matter how thorough your plans, unexpected twists and turns will arise. Instead of trying to control every variable, focus on developing adaptability and resilience. Set goals and outline general strategies, but leave room for spontaneity and course corrections.

Embrace the art of improvisation. Some of the most rewarding experiences and breakthrough moments come from unplanned detours. By loosening your grip on the reins of control, you open yourself up to serendipitous encounters and innovative solutions that rigid planning might have prevented.

3. Taking shortcuts.

A man in business attire is walking and talking on a mobile phone. He is seen from a high angle, passing by a parked bicycle on a cobblestone sidewalk. The image is framed by out-of-focus vertical lines in the foreground.

The allure of a quick fix is undeniable, but true success rarely comes from cutting corners. Shortcuts might offer temporary gains, but they often lead to long-term setbacks and missed learning opportunities.

Slow and steady progress, while less glamorous, builds a solid foundation for lasting success. Each challenge overcome and skill mastered contributes to your personal growth and resilience.

Instead of seeking shortcuts, focus on developing a strong work ethic and embracing the journey of continuous improvement. Celebrate small wins along the way, and recognize that the process itself is valuable. Putting in the time and effort, will not only help you achieve your goals but also gain the confidence and capabilities to tackle even greater challenges in the future.

4. Avoiding risk altogether.

A close-up of a person with short brown hair and glasses, looking into the distance. The background is blurred but appears to be a bookshelf with various books and items. The person has a contemplative expression and wears a light-colored shirt and jacket.

Playing it safe might seem like a foolproof strategy, but excessive caution can be just as detrimental as recklessness. Growth and success often lie just beyond your comfort zone, in the realm of calculated risks.

Understanding your personal risk tolerance is crucial. While some thrive on high-stakes ventures, others prefer more measured approaches. The key is finding a balance that challenges you without causing undue stress or jeopardizing your well-being.

Start by taking small, manageable risks to build your confidence. As you become more comfortable with uncertainty, gradually expand your horizons. Remember, even seemingly “safe” choices carry inherent risks. By developing your risk assessment skills and learning to embrace calculated risks, you’ll open doors to new opportunities and experiences that can propel your personal and professional growth.

5. Accepting others’ definition of success.

A person with short black hair and bangs stands in front of a wooden background. They are wearing a light-colored coat and white shirt, with noticeable red lipstick. The overall expression appears neutral.

Society bombards us with preconceived notions of success—the corner office, the luxury car, the picture-perfect family. But blindly chasing someone else’s dream is a surefire way to end up feeling unfulfilled and disconnected from your true self.

Take a step back and reflect on what truly matters to you. What ignites your passion? What values do you hold dear? Your definition of success should align with your authentic self, not societal expectations or peer pressure.

This doesn’t mean ignoring external input entirely. Learn from others’ experiences and seek inspiration, but use this information to inform your own unique vision of success. There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to a fulfilling life. By defining success on your own terms, you’ll find greater motivation, satisfaction, and purpose in your pursuits.

6. Setting moonshoot goals.

A woman with dark hair tied back stands in front of a softly lit background, looking slightly upwards and to the side. She is wearing a white shirt and has a thoughtful expression on her face. The lighting creates a warm, gentle glow around her.

Dreaming big can be inspiring, but setting unrealistic “moonshot” goals often leads to frustration and disappointment. While ambition is admirable, it’s crucial to strike a balance between aspiration and attainability.

Instead of fixating on grandiose objectives, focus on setting challenging yet achievable goals. Break larger aspirations into smaller, manageable milestones. This approach allows you to make steady progress and experience the motivational boost of regular accomplishments.

Don’t forget that success is rarely an overnight phenomenon. It’s built through consistent effort and incremental improvements. By setting realistic goals, you create a sustainable path to growth and achievement. Celebrate each step forward, no matter how small, and use these victories as fuel to propel you toward your larger ambitions.

7. Pursuing goals at the expense of your health.

A woman with blonde hair is sitting at a desk, staring wide-eyed at a computer screen. She is holding her eyes open with her fingers, appearing tired or overwhelmed. On the desk in front of her are a pair of glasses, a mouse, and a keyboard.

Burning the candle at both ends might seem like a fast track to success, but neglecting your health is a recipe for burnout and long-term setbacks. Your body and mind are your most valuable assets in the pursuit of your goals—treat them accordingly.

Prioritize self-care as an essential part of your success strategy. This means getting adequate sleep, maintaining a balanced diet, engaging in regular physical activity, and managing stress effectively. Taking time to recharge isn’t a luxury; it’s a necessity for sustained high performance.

Incorporate healthy habits into your daily routine, and learn to recognize the signs of burnout before they escalate. When you nurture your physical and mental well-being, you’ll not only enhance your productivity and creativity but also ensure that you’re able to enjoy the fruits of your labor in the long run.

8. Going it alone and only learning by doing.

A man wearing a white t-shirt, jeans, sunglasses, and a black cap is sitting on worn wooden steps in an outdoor setting. The steps appear to be part of an old, rustic structure. The man looks up towards the sky with a contemplative expression.

While there’s value in hands-on experience, the “lone wolf” approach can lead to unnecessary struggles and missed opportunities. Seeking guidance from those who’ve walked the path before you can accelerate your growth and help you avoid common pitfalls.

Don’t hesitate to reach out to mentors, join professional networks, or invest in expert instruction. These resources can provide valuable insights, strategies, and support that can significantly shorten your learning curve.

However, this doesn’t mean blindly following others’ advice. Use the knowledge you gain as a foundation, then adapt and experiment to find what works best for you. By combining expert guidance with your own experiences and insights, you’ll develop a more robust and effective approach to achieving your goals.

9. Sacrificing too much of today’s well-being for tomorrow’s success.

A young woman with blonde hair and bangs, wearing a maroon top, stands by a window with natural light filtering in. She gazes outside with a thoughtful expression, resting her chin on her hand. The background reveals a blurred outdoor view.

The pursuit of future success shouldn’t come at the cost of present happiness. While some sacrifices are necessary for growth, constantly deferring joy and fulfillment can lead to burnout and a sense of emptiness, even when you achieve your goals.

Strive for balance between working toward your future and enjoying the present moment. Incorporate activities that bring you joy and relaxation into your daily routine. Cultivate meaningful relationships and create positive experiences along your journey.

Life is happening now, not just in some distant future. By finding ways to appreciate and make the most of each day, you’ll not only enhance your overall well-being but also build resilience and motivation for the long haul. Success is as much about the journey as it is about the destination.

10. Seeking to avoid making mistakes.

A young man with light brown hair, wearing a red jacket and a pair of sunglasses hanging from his shirt, is standing inside a bus, holding an overhead handrail. He is looking ahead with a thoughtful expression. The bus interior and other passengers are visible.

The fear of failure can be paralyzing, but striving for perfection often leads to stagnation. Mistakes are not just inevitable; they’re valuable learning opportunities that contribute to your growth and success.

Shift your perspective on errors. Instead of viewing them as failures, see them as experiments that provide important data. Each mistake offers insights that can refine your approach and bring you closer to your goals.

Embrace a growth mindset that values learning and improvement over flawless performance. When you encounter setbacks, focus on extracting lessons and applying them to future efforts. By reframing mistakes as stepping stones rather than stumbling blocks, you’ll develop resilience, creativity, and the ability to adapt—all crucial qualities for long-term success.

11. Blaming others to save your own skin.

A man with a serious expression points to himself with both thumbs. He is wearing a light blue shirt, a dark gray vest, and a blue patterned tie, standing in front of an orange background.

When things go wrong, it’s tempting to point fingers and shift responsibility. However, this defensive stance not only damages relationships but also robs you of valuable opportunities for growth and self-improvement.

Taking ownership of your actions and their consequences is a hallmark of maturity and leadership. It demonstrates integrity and earns the respect of others. When faced with setbacks or failures, resist the urge to deflect blame. Instead, approach the situation with honesty and a willingness to learn.

This doesn’t mean shouldering blame for things beyond your control. It’s about acknowledging your role in outcomes, good or bad, and using that insight to make better decisions moving forward. By cultivating personal responsibility, you’ll not only build stronger relationships but also develop the self-awareness and adaptability necessary for long-term success.

About The Author

Steve Phillips-Waller is the founder and editor of A Conscious Rethink. He has written extensively on the topics of life, relationships, and mental health for more than 8 years.