If you've suffered narcissistic abuse, tell yourself these 7 things daily

Freeing yourself from the clutches of a narcissistic abuser is just the start of a much longer healing process. One seemingly insignificant, yet powerful, thing you can do to aid your recovery is to repeat a series of affirmations to yourself daily.

Ideally spoken out loud, these positive statements about you and your life can help your mind adjust its internal monologue away from a place of helplessness, towards a position of empowerment.

As you speak or think them, you create and reinforce a strong mental state. Over time, you will become more resilient to the hurt and harm inflicted in your past and less influenced by it.

Use these affirmations regularly as just one of many tools to move beyond the damaging effects narcissism has had on your life.

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1. “I am healing slowly, but surely, day by day one step at a time.”

It is important to remind yourself that the healing process is a continual one. Depending on how long a narcissist was a part of your life, it can take months, years, or even a lifetime to fully come to terms with it.

What’s more, the path is not always a straight one; you may take forward steps, backwards steps, and even sideways steps. Just remember that every step is a part of the journey and that it is neither a waste nor a failure to have setbacks.

This simple confirmation that you are healing can provide the energy and impetus to get you through the challenges you’ll face along the way.

2. “I am putting the past well and truly behind me to focus on the present and future.”

Some victims of narcissistic abuse will find that their minds naturally drift towards past events; this acts like a chain around their ankles, preventing them from moving on with their lives.

This second affirmation is designed to jolt you out of this way of thinking by committing you to a more forward-looking mindset. Whenever you find memories linked to narcissism creeping into your head, reiterate your desire to let go of the past.

It takes awareness and persistence to shift your thoughts away from previous events, but it is achievable through sheer determination and a degree of self-forgiveness when you slip up.

3. “I am a loveable person who deserves the care, affection, and respect of others.”

When in the grips of a narcissist, it is common to find your sense of self-worth being eroded. That’s why it is essential that you begin to rediscover it the moment you break free.

The three key points in this affirmation – care, affection, and respect – are things that every individual is worthy of, but that narcissists are incapable of giving (at least in a genuine and sincere way).

When they are withheld for any length of time, you begin to forget what they feel like. Repeating the above phrase consistently will act as a reminder that you are not only loveable, but that you deserve to be treated with kindness and consideration.

4. “I am making self-care a priority.”

Those who become entangled with a narcissist eventually surrender their own interests in order to put the other party first. This habit can easily stay with you even after you’ve managed to walk away from them.

You need to ensure that, from this point on, you put your own needs first – in many respects, even before those of any dependents in your life.

Looking after number one needn’t be a selfish act; indeed, you are better able to love and care for others when you take proper care of yourself.

5. “I know and trust my own mind.”

A common weapon in a narcissist’s arsenal is what’s known as gaslighting. In essence, it involves confusion, diversion, and delusion tactics designed to make you doubt yourself and become dependent on them.

So this affirmation is one that seeks to once again give you faith in your own mind and your ability to act for yourself. Just stating the trust you have in your mental faculties over and over will give you the confidence required to let them guide you.

You will slowly become more assertive and more willing to make bold decisions based upon your own beliefs and analysis of a situation.

6. “I have firm boundaries and the strength to stick to them.”

Almost invariably, when you attempt to put distance between yourself and a narcissist, they will seek to claw their way back into your life somehow. It may not happen straight away, but eventually, driven by their need for narcissistic supply, they are likely to come knocking at your door.

This is why it is vitally important to erect firm mental and personal boundaries in order to block their advances. Affirming the existence of these guarded perimeters in words will help to give them strength in your mind.

Preventing a narcissist from re-entering your life is the number one requirement for your continued recovery. Give them the slightest glimmer of hope and this will be put at major risk. So remain unyielding to anything they throw at you.

7. “I have the full support of my friends and family.”

It is worth remembering that you are not in this alone. While your time with a narcissist may have seen some personal bonds weaken, your true friends and family will still be there for you in your hour of need.

When you are struggling with something and feel unsure where to turn, the affirmation above will remind you of the valuable support system available to you.

Saying it frequently will also give you the courage that is often needed when asking for help. You won’t hesitate to seek the counsel of others when you are sure of their willingness to provide it.

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