If you crave happiness but can't seem to find it, say goodbye to these 12 behaviors

Let go of these behaviors and watch what happens to your happiness levels.

A person with long blonde hair wearing a straw hat takes a selfie outdoors. They are smiling widely, with a grassy background. The sun is shining, creating a bright and warm atmosphere.

Most people would like to be happy—I think that’s human nature. But happiness won’t stand a chance if you behave in ways that crush it before it ever gets a chance to take hold in you. If you really want to experience happier thoughts and feelings more often, put a stop to the following behaviors.

1. Craving happiness.

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Happiness is about the journey, not the destination. Even when you reach the destination, you have to keep working to keep that happiness alive and healthy. If you crave it, you may find yourself blindly chasing a goal that doesn’t exist, missing the happiness you ran past along the way.

2. Comparing yourself to others.

Measuring your worth against others will lead to feelings of inadequacy and dissatisfaction. There is always someone out there who has it better than you. By comparing yourself to those people, you are constantly creating a narrative that you can’t just be happy with yourself or what you have—you need what they have too.

3. Holding onto grudges.

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Resentment and anger over past wrongs keep you trapped in negativity. Granted, you can’t just get over major grievances and wrongs against you. But neither should you hold onto them forever. Forgiveness allows you to move forward with a lighter load. The flame of happiness will be snuffed out by the bitterness of a grudge.

4. Negative self-talk.

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It’s hard to be happy when your inner critic is regularly tearing you down. By constantly telling yourself you’re not good enough or undermining your own achievements, you drain your happiness. Negative self-talk can be replaced with affirmations and self-compassion to make room for happiness.

5. Chronic complaining.

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Complaining keeps you focused on negativity instead of positivity—it blinds you to the good things you have in your life. Instead of complaining, focus on gratitude and solutions to shift your mindset to a more positive outlook. That doesn’t mean you have to swallow every problem and get over it. Just pick your battles when you need to.

6. Fear of change.

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Clinging to the familiar because of fear keeps you stuck, never moving forward in life. Life is about change and evolution. People who can’t embrace that often find themselves left behind in unfulfilling situations because they view opportunities for growth as a threat to their status quo, even if their status quo is bad for them.

7. Seeking approval.

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Living for the approval of others leads to constant anxiety and a lack of authenticity. By seeking approval, you instead bend yourself to make decisions more in line with other people’s values so that you can earn that approval. In doing so, you leave the uniqueness that is you behind—something that will prevent happiness from emerging in you.

8. Perfectionism.

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Perfection is unattainable. It doesn’t matter what you’re doing, there is always something that could be different. Not even better, but just something you think is better. Allowing yourself to be imperfect allows you to enjoy the process, accept your mistakes, and experience more joy.

9. Procrastination.

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Delaying tasks and decisions creates stress and guilt. Even taking small steps helps create momentum, which gives you a sense of accomplishment and boosts your happiness. The added stress from procrastination is just an anchor that will drag you down.

10. Dwelling on the past.

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Rumination is to dwell on past mistakes and missed opportunities without letting them go. Of course, it is valuable to consider what went wrong, but you can’t just keep doing it. That leaves no space for happiness. Learn from your past, but don’t let it define your present and future.

11. Living in fear.

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Fear will stifle your growth and happiness. Fear of failure, rejection, and the unknown will trap you in place. Growth requires stepping out into the unknown which can be scary or painful. Still, you can’t let fear stop you from pursuing the kind of life you want to have.

12. Overworking.

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Work-life balance matters so that you have enough time to rejuvenate by doing the things that make you happy. Too much work leads to burnout and diminishes your quality of life and mind. Prioritize self-care, leisure, and relaxing activities so you can avoid exhaustion and maintain happiness.