Learn These 13 Lessons Sooner
Life is a journey filled with twists, turns, and unexpected lessons. As we navigate through its complexities, we often find ourselves wishing we had known certain truths earlier. Here we’ve got 13 invaluable insights that many of us learn the hard way, or worse still, too late.
1. Think before you speak.
One of the best things that anyone can learn is to pause before speaking. We often regret that which we’ve blurted out in the heat of the moment, but we can never take those outbursts back.
Ask yourself if what you’re thinking is right, kind, or necessary, then express yourself calmly. Furthermore, it’s the mark of a keen, measured mind to pause between spoken thoughts. This will also keep you from using filler words such as “like” and “okay?”, which detract from whatever it is you’re saying (especially in a professional setting).
2. Take more risks.
I guarantee that when you look back on your life several years from now, you’ll be far more haunted by all the things you didn’t do, than the things you did. Furthermore, some of the best stories you tell, and the most intense experiences you’ve had (and grown from) will be the ones that involve some degree of risk. Even if you fail terribly, you’ll learn strong lessons and have some great adventures along the way.
3. You will always regret moments of cowardice.
All of us have memories that we look back upon with shame because we didn’t behave bravely in that moment. Maybe we didn’t stand up for a person or animal who was being mistreated, or we didn’t make a move with someone due to fear of rejection.
Even if walking away was the right decision, you’ll still look back and wonder how things might have turned out if you hadn’t chosen fear.
Similarly:
4. Stand your ground when you know you’re in the right.
We had a class on riddles when I was in third grade, and our teacher asked us to solve the “St Ives” rhyme. When asked how many had answered with “2800,” half the class raised their hands. Similarly, the other half raised theirs for “2802.” I was the only one who answered the riddle with “one.”
The class erupted into laughter until the teacher announced that I was the only one who’d gotten it right. She gave me a voucher for a free book at the Scholastic book fair (highlight of my life, let me tell you), and a unicorn bookmark for having had the courage to stand my ground despite my peers’ mockery.
Sure, I also got beaten up by Jason P. for “making him look stupid,” but that’s a story for another day. The point is that it’s always important to stand up for what you know is right, even if everyone else is against you. You may not agree with the majority, but that doesn’t make you wrong.
5. You don’t need to have everything figured out or achieved by X age.
There are a lot of listicles out there that say you should have achieved X by age 20, 30, 40, and so on. Ignore them. No two people are exactly the same, and thus have different priorities and abilities. There are no due dates for life experience. You can learn new skills at any time, and will learn many different lessons at different points in your life.
You get to design your own path, adjusting it to your personal capabilities. What other people think you “should” be doing, or have figured out by any specific age, doesn’t matter.
6. Not getting what you want might be the best blessing imaginable.
I can’t tell you how often I’ve gotten something (or someone) I thought I wanted, only to realize what a huge mistake it was to pursue that particular path.
Many situations (and people) look great from the outside, but the reality is different once you’re involved with them. That glamorous dream job might be stressful and packed with atrocious coworkers. Similarly, that hot lover you got with might be unbalanced or abusive.
If you’re haunted by “what if” thoughts about the one that got away, let that go. Chances are that you would have been miserable, and were spared difficulty—and even trauma—by not getting what you thought you wanted.
7. You’ll never be able to make everyone happy.
A lot of people tie themselves in knots trying to keep others around them happy. This might occur when trying to appease everyone else’s wants when planning a wedding, but it can also apply to the workplace or general social events.
No matter what you do or what choices you make, someone’s going to be upset, offended, or disappointed. And that’s their issue to deal with. If they choose to be mad at you for not indulging their whims, that’s on them. Be true to yourself, and don’t ever feel that you must bow to another’s demands at the expense of your own happiness.
8. Take care of your health.
Many people cruise through their teens and twenties eating whatever they like, sleeping on the floor, getting injured by risky activities, and not drinking enough water. If you’ve been doing this, know that you’ll regret it 20-30 years down the road.
If you want to avoid aching in places you didn’t know you had, make wiser, healthier choices starting immediately. Find an exercise that you enjoy. Drink plenty of water. STRETCH. Treat your body as a cherished vehicle that you want to keep in good working order for the next 50+ years.
9. There’s nothing wrong with a simple, humble life.
A lot of people feel immense pressure to hustle and achieve. They might get numerous degrees, work 100-hour weeks, and attempt to live the most fabulous life possible. Then they have nervous breakdowns trying to keep up with the lofty ambitions they’ve set for themselves.
There’s nothing wrong with you if this lifestyle isn’t your priority. Living a simple life is a great choice for many. If you want to move somewhere rural to raise alpacas and spin yarn, go for it. Same goes for travelling the world in a converted van, or doing a simple job that grants you plenty of time to pursue your hobbies and passion projects.
10. Drama is never worth engaging in.
Don’t get caught up in other people’s crap. The same goes for watching or listening to sensationalist media that’s geared toward riling up your emotions or tearing your attention away from subjects that are actually worthwhile.
Make “not my circus, not my monkeys” a personal mantra and you’ll spare yourself a lot of stress.
On that note:
11. Peace is often more important than love.
Have you ever loved someone who wasn’t good for you? Maybe they were deeply wounded and couldn’t give you the connection that you needed. Or they had narcissistic tendencies and were more in love with the idea of you than who you really were.
Regardless of the cause, know that whatever costs you your peace of mind is too expensive. That goes for friendships and family dynamics as well as romantic love.
12. Guard your alone time.
There’s a reason why so many scholars, writers, and spiritual leaders choose seclusion: it’s only when you’re alone with your own thoughts and emotions that you can start to understand yourself and properly observe the world around you.
Yes, alone time can make you feel lonely on occasion, but it’s also absolutely vital to really get to know yourself. Guard that alone time fiercely, and don’t let others infringe upon it because of their own selfish wants or needs.
13. This too shall pass.
No matter what it is you’re experiencing right now, it’s not going to last. That goes for the delicious triple chocolate brownie you’re devouring, or the pain from your sprained ankle. For good or ill, anything and everything you experience is temporary. The wheel turns, and change is right around the corner.
As a result, you can let go of a lot of the stress you’re holding onto right now. Things will get better, just like they always have. Try to trust the process and flow with it rather than thrashing around. Things will move forward much more easily when you relax and work with what you have available to you.
As mentioned earlier, these are some of the most important lessons I wish I had learned 30+ years ago. This list will undoubtedly keep evolving, but hopefully you’ll be able to learn from my missteps and have a smoother, more joy-filled life journey as a result.
