People who grew up with no close friends display these 12 traits as adults

A lack of close friends as a child often leads to these things in adulthood.

A boy in a blue plaid shirt sits at a wooden table, appearing thoughtful. An arrow points to a young man with brown hair wearing a black jacket, standing against a blurred green background. The image suggests a transformation or progression over time.

There may be many reasons why someone didn’t have close friends as a child. Perhaps their family moved around a lot, or there weren’t many kids living in their area (such as on army bases, and so on). A lack of childhood friendships can have a lasting impact, often causing the individual to exhibit many of the following 12 traits.

1. The ability to amuse themselves, on their own.

A person wearing grey loungewear and white socks sits comfortably in a beige armchair by a window, reading a book. They are smiling and looking away from the book. A small wooden side table with a potted plant is next to the armchair.

While some people need to have constant companionship and entertainment to keep themselves amused, those who grew up without close friends learned how to entertain themselves. They’re often perfectly content to curl up with a book, a game, a movie, or a creative project and do their own thing.

2. Self-sufficiency.

A man in a white shirt and blue apron is cooking in a bright kitchen. He holds a frying pan with a piece of meat, inspecting it closely with a focused expression. Plates and kitchen items are blurred in the background.

When you don’t have a lot of other people to help you out with various tasks, you learn to do them effectively on your own. The most self-sufficient adults you know are likely those who learned how to fix their own bike chains and build their own forts by themselves.

3. Adaptability.

A young man with shoulder-length curly hair and wearing a green beanie and red jacket smiles at the camera while taking a selfie outdoors. The background reveals an expansive, sunlit landscape of rocky terrain and a distant horizon.

People who grew up with close friends tend to find comfort in routine and sameness. In contrast, those who spent a lot of time alone (or who moved around too often to cultivate bonds) learned how to adapt to different circumstances as they arose, and make the best of them.

4. Discomfort interacting with children.

A woman with dark hair in a light blouse sits on a gray sofa, gesturing as she talks to a young girl with blond pigtails in a pink shirt who has her arms crossed and looks upset. The background shows a kitchen out of focus.

If someone grew up without a lot of other kids around, they may not know how to interact with them well. They likely spent most of their time with adults, therefore maturing quite quickly. As such, their interactions with kids may be awkward, or they may have the expectation for them to behave like short grown-ups.

5. A preference for text-based communication rather than verbal.

A person with long hair, wearing a light jacket and a pale pink shirt, is holding a white smartphone and appears to be texting or scrolling. They have earphones plugged into the phone, and the background is blurred, showing an outdoor setting.

For some people who grew up without close friends, their friend-like relationships may have mostly taken place online. As a result, they may be more comfortable with texting than with verbal communication, especially if they didn’t have many chances to hone their social skills face-to-face with others.

6. Strong kinships with animals over people.

A smiling woman in a pink and blue plaid shirt is sitting on a pebble beach, holding a happy golden retriever. The sea and rocky outcrops are visible in the background.

In many situations where people didn’t have close friends growing up, their parents got them pets to provide companionship and ease loneliness. As adults, these people tend to be much more comfortable with animal companions than human ones. If given the option, they’ll often choose a pet over a partner.

7. A wide range of interests and knowledge pools.

A person with short red hair is meticulously sculpting a clay pot on a table in a pottery studio. The individual is dressed in a white, long-sleeved shirt and surrounded by various pottery tools and shelves filled with pottery items in the background.

When one doesn’t have close friends in childhood, they often immerse themselves in learning about different things. Although they may have some niche interests, they’ll also delve into a wide variety of subjects and skills. These varied skill sets can benefit them greatly as they move through life.

8. Awkwardness or discomfort with social functions.

A woman with long dark hair and a plaid sweater sits alone at a bar, resting her face on her hand and looking pensive. In the background, a group of three women are enjoying themselves, smiling, and holding drinks. The setting appears to be a lively bar.

A major benefit to having close friends in one’s youth is the ability to learn how to behave (or how not to behave) in different social functions. If one misses that opportunity, those skills aren’t as developed as they could be, leading to awkwardness, anxiety, or discomfort in unfamiliar circumstances.

9. Rejection sensitivity.

A person with glasses and headphones sits on a bed with a thoughtful expression. They are wearing a white shirt and a brown cardigan. The bed has a wooden headboard and is partially covered by blue-striped bedding. The background is a plain wall.

For some people, the reason they didn’t have close friends wasn’t due to lack of opportunity, but due to exclusion for one reason or another. If a person was ostracized by others in their youth—especially due to some kind of difference—they’re often highly sensitive to rejection from peers or partners as adults.

10. Hesitance to trust people.

A woman with blonde hair wearing a burgundy scarf and a dark coat stands outdoors, looking towards someone facing her whose back is partially visible. She has her hand behind her ear and a thoughtful expression on her face. The background is slightly blurred.

If these folks were bullied and tormented as kids, they may have difficulty believing the sincerity of adults who want to be their friends. Their natural instinct will be that the person is trying to get close to them in order to hurt them, so they’ll keep their distance for self-preservation.

11. Authenticity.

Black and white close-up of a young man looking directly at the camera. He has a slight smile, short beard, and is wearing a hooded jacket and beanie. The background is blurred.

People who didn’t have many close friends likely didn’t have many people around to naysay or make fun of their various interests and preferences. As such, they probably cultivated their own sense of style, as well as strong ideas and beliefs that they’re fully secure in.

12. Difficulty making friends in adulthood.

A woman wearing sunglasses lies on her stomach on a grassy field, holding an open book in one hand and a plastic cup with a straw filled with a colorful drink in the other. The sky is partly cloudy, and trees are visible in the background.

If they had difficulty making friends as children, they’ll probably struggle to make them as adults too. Cultivating friendships takes time and effort, as well as social and emotional awareness. If they never had the opportunity to cultivate the latter skills, they may not know how to approach others at all.