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8 behaviors that reveal you’ve dropped the act and become your authentic self

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Authentic people do these things without even realizing.

A close-up of a person with long brown hair and blue eyes, wearing a wide-brimmed black hat. They have a neutral expression, and one side of their face is partially covered by hair. The background is softly blurred.

Have you been living inauthentically for most of your life? Maybe it was in some small ways or perhaps you hid a more fundamental part of who you are. Well, if you have cast the mask aside now, you will no doubt notice yourself displaying many of the following behaviors.

1. You set boundaries without feeling guilty.

A woman with long, wavy hair stands against a yellow background, wearing a yellow sleeveless top. She has a serious expression and is holding both hands up with palms facing forward in a stop gesture.

You understand that boundaries are mentally and emotionally healthy. People who love and respect you will want to know what your boundaries are so that they don’t make you feel bad or uncomfortable. Healthy boundaries also point to someone who is comfortable with making their own decisions for themselves. An authentic person being true to themselves knows that they deserve to be treated with respect.

2. You are able to embrace your vulnerability.

A person with curly hair sits with their hands covering their face, appearing distressed. Another person sits next to them, extending a hand that the distressed person is holding onto. The background is blurred, focusing on the interaction.

You understand that the judgments of others about your emotions and struggles don’t matter. Vulnerability is a strength, not a weakness—it allows true, authentic connection with others. People who are comfortable in their authenticity prefer to forge relationships with other people living in their authenticity. The only way to make those connections is through vulnerability.

3. You stop seeking external validation.

A man stands confidently beside a white brick wall with one hand in his pocket. He's wearing a vibrant blue blazer, a dark patterned shirt, maroon pants, and a shoulder bag strap over his shoulder. A yellow pocket square peeks out from his blazer pocket.

You understand that acceptance of yourself is more powerful than other people accepting you. Internal validation means you know you are a valuable person without needing others to tell you. External validation is problematic because you generally need to adhere to the expectations of others to earn their validation.

4. You show up consistently as yourself.

A man with curly hair and a beard is smiling while standing outdoors on a sunny day. He is wearing a patterned short-sleeved shirt. Trees, buildings, and a parked white car are visible in the background.

You understand that you don’t need to change yourself to be accepted. There are some people who feel like they need to act different when they are in different circumstances. Granted, sometimes you have to put on the work personality to be professional. However, that’s different from setting aside your core beliefs. Authentic people understand that their core beliefs should not be compromised.

5. You can accept and own your flaws.

A person with long brown hair and a green beanie looks down while standing in an outdoor setting with greenery and trees in the background. They are wearing a colorful patterned sweater with a sherpa lining.

You understand that you don’t need to pretend to be perfect. No one’s perfect. To be blunt, anyone who claims they are is lying. Authentic people know they are imperfect. They don’t hide from their flaws because their flaws help define the unique person that they are. Furthermore, they understand that you have to accept your flaws if you want to improve and evolve as a person.

6. You are comfortable saying ‘no’.

A woman with shoulder-length brown hair, wearing a white shirt, is seen against an orange background. She has her right hand extended in front of her, palm facing outward, in a "stop" or "halt" gesture while looking away.

You understand that it’s okay to say “no” to things that do not work for you. There is no pressure for you to accept the unacceptable just to be polite or avoid conflict. You know your time and person needs to be respected, and that “no” is required to protect yourself. It’s not your problem if you have to say “no” to someone. That is their problem to deal with.

7. You follow your passions.

A smiling person with curly hair leans against a rust-colored wall. They are wearing a blue denim shirt over a white t-shirt and have their arms crossed. The background includes additional rust-colored panels extending to the left.

You understand that your passions matter. Many people forsake their passions because they aren’t popular or financially rewarding. Authentic people feel called or pulled to do a thing, and so they do it because it feels right to them. It may not be rewarding. In fact, it may cost them instead. But that’s just the nature of passions. Sometimes you just have to follow the path regardless of what may come of it.

8. You walk your own path.

A person with short hair is wearing a black hat and beige coat, standing near a tree with yellow leaves. They look content, with their face turned slightly to the side. The autumn foliage creates a vibrant backdrop against the pale sky.

You understand that your inner voice and gut feeling should be heavily considered. Intuition is a powerful guide if we let it be. However, many people ignore their intuition in favor of conventional wisdom or external advice. External advice may be good and right, but it may not be good and right for you. An authentic person knows that sometimes they just have to go with the path that they feel is right for them, regardless of how other people feel about it.

About The Author

Jack Nollan is a mental health writer of 10 years who pairs lived experience with evidence-based information to provide perspectives from the side of the mental health consumer. Jack has lived with Bipolar Disorder and Bipolar-depression for almost 30 years. With hands-on experience as the facilitator of a mental health support group, Jack has a firm grasp of the wide range of struggles people face when their mind is not in the healthiest of places. Jack is an activist who is passionate about helping disadvantaged people find a better path.