If you want to be the best version of yourself, stop doing these 12 things

Say goodbye to these behaviors to become the best version of yourself.

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There’s always room for improvement in our lives. If you’re aiming to live the best and most authentic version of yourself, examine your behaviors to see if you’re doing any of the things that follow. Then, if you discover that you’re doing them often, shift your actions toward something more positive and beneficial.

1. Complaining, but not doing anything to improve the situation.

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Some people may not like the phrase “what you’re not changing, you’re choosing”, but that’s because it’s true, and most people don’t want to acknowledge that fact. If you’ve been complaining about a situation for years, but not doing anything to change it, stop immediately and start making real change happen instead.

2. Always having an excuse as to why you can’t meet your commitments.

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You’re late for work because your partner didn’t wake you up, or you couldn’t make it to your friend’s event because your dog was anxious, and so on. Instead of making excuses as to why you can’t honor your commitments, make them a priority and take responsibility when you mess up.

3. Waiting for someone else to fix things for you.

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Stop being a passenger in your own life, perpetually waiting for someone else to step in and fix all your problems for you. Instead, come up with a firm action plan about how you’d like to achieve the goals that are important to you, and put real effort toward them.

4. Self-sabotage.

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If you know full well that you’re doing unhealthy or risky things that are seriously bad for you, stop this behavior immediately. Determine your motivations for why you’re self-sabotaging, address them, and make positive changes instead. If you’re struggling with understanding your motivations, consider therapy to help you out.

5. Neglecting your personal relationships.

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Your relationships with your friends, partner, family members, and even your co-workers need to be nurtured, otherwise they’ll fall apart. Those we love can add immense value to our lives, so be sure to put sincere time and effort toward the people who matter to you.

6. Not taking care of yourself.

A man with a short, brown hair and a beard, wearing a light purple t-shirt, sits indoors with a pensive expression, resting his head on his hand. The background is dimly lit with a warm light bulb visible.

Neglecting things like nutrition, health, personal hygiene, and mental wellness can take a serious toll on your overall wellbeing. Keep your living space neat and tidy, make sure that you stay clean and eat well, and prioritize things like meditation for mental balance. If you don’t have your health, little else matters.

7. Being submissive.

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You don’t have to try to dominate and control everybody, but on the other hand if you’re always a pushover, it doesn’t matter what skills, knowledge, and experience you have—you’ll always be shouted down and pushed around by those less capable than you.

8. Critical and damaging self-comparison.

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The best version of you will look and feel very different from the best version of your best friend. The only person you should be comparing yourself to is a past example of yourself, as you work on being the best version of you that is possible to attain.

9. Projecting your insecurity upon others.

A woman is gesturing and speaking loudly, appearing upset, while a man sits at a desk in front of a computer, holding his head with one hand and looking down. They are in an office setting with a bright window behind them.

If you’re feeling insecure about aspects of yourself that you don’t like, don’t cut others down or try to control them as a means of making yourself feel better. Nothing screams “I’m insecure” louder than trying to make others look or feel bad.

10. Don’t “fake it ‘til you make it”: MAKE it until you make it.

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In simplest terms, don’t live a lie. Don’t lie to yourself or others about abilities you have, but instead put time and effort into developing them. Similarly, don’t stay in situations you despise while pretending that you’re happy and fulfilled. End empty relationships, leave the job you hate, and pursue authentic joy.

11. People pleasing.

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Stop doing things that crush your soul for the sake of making other people happy. You have this one beautiful, sacred life to live, so establish boundaries, defend them fiercely, and don’t allow other people to push you around to get their needs met at a cost to your own.

12. Accepting less than what you’re worth.

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It’s okay to turn down a job that doesn’t pay you a living wage, or to distance yourself from people—even family members—who don’t treat you with courtesy and respect. If you’ve been allowing others to mistreat you because of low self-esteem, put a stop to that and step into your worth.