14 Reasons Someone Chose To Ghost You Rather Than Do The Mature Thing And Tell You

Have You Been Ghosted Recently?

A woman sitting on a sofa, wearing a striped sweater and jeans, looks at her phone with a thoughtful expression, inside a cozy room with a large window and bookshelves.

In the internet age, dating has changed almost beyond all recognition. With new technologies come new behaviors, and new terms to describe them.

If you’re out on the dating scene, you might well have experienced ‘breadcrumbing,’ ‘slow fading,’ ‘benching,’ or a whole host of other things.

But one of the worst is most definitely ghosting. If you haven’t come across the term, then either you’re lucky enough to have never had it happen to you before, or you just didn’t realize that there was a name for it.

So what Is Ghosting?

Ghosting is when someone just disappears. You might even wonder whether they’ve died, because they will suddenly show no signs of life.

Hence the ghost.

Ghosting can happen at pretty much any stage of a relationship. But it’s most common when people meet online or on an app and exchange messages, and one or both of them decides to stop speaking to the other without any explanation or goodbye.

So what are the most common reasons for ghosting? Is it you or them? Let’s find out…

1. They don’t fancy you.

A man sitting on a chair, wearing a white t-shirt and jeans, looking intently at his smartphone with a thoughtful expression. In the background, there is a bicycle and books on a shelf with green plants nearby.

This might seem like a slightly brutal note to start on, but it’s important to accept that, whilst there might be all kinds of reasons why someone goes quiet on you, it’s likely they were not that into you in the first place.

That’s no reflection on you. It doesn’t mean you’re unlovable or undesirable. It just means that you weren’t their cup of tea, and that they weren’t right for you.

Accepting that fact will help you to move on from the situation faster than if you spend time dwelling on why it was that they never texted you back.

2. They’re not good with confrontation.

A woman with curly hair, wearing a sleeveless orange top, is smiling while looking at her smartphone. She is seated in a cozy, dimly lit room with patterned wallpaper and soft furniture.

Many of us will do absolutely anything we can to avoid a confrontation… with anyone, about anything.

I, myself, have been guilty of avoiding a situation and hoping against hope it will just go away so I won’t have to face up to it.

That doesn’t mean it’s the right way to behave, but it might go some way to explaining why someone might ghost you.

They’re not trying to be mean to you as such; they’re just incapable of biting the bullet and are firmly sticking their head in the sand.

3. They don’t want to hurt your feelings.

A woman with long hair and a casual outfit lies on a couch, looking intently at a smartphone in her hand. She rests her chin on her other hand, appearing focused and thoughtful.

This one might seem illogical, but when have we humans ever been particularly logical creatures?

A person may convince themselves that disappearing will hurt your feelings less than sending a message telling you that they’re not interested in carrying things on.

It’s easy for someone to believe that they’re ghosting you for your benefit, despite the fact that the opposite is true.

4. They want an easy way out.

A man with short dark hair and a beard is sitting in a gym, wearing a black athletic shirt, and looking at his smartphone. He has earphones in his ears and appears focused or contemplative. The gym equipment and a large air conditioning unit are visible in the background.

They’re not willing to take the time to put together a message or meet you face to face to tell you they don’t think it’s going to work out.

They see ghosting as the easy option, and they’ll happily take it.

5. They’ve lied to you.

A man in a gray suit sits on a desk in a modern office space holding a smartphone. He is looking to the side with a thoughtful expression. The background features brick walls and large windows.

Some people may lie to you via message or on your first couple of dates, about absolutely anything, from their job to their likes to their financial status.

If this is the case, and they know they can’t keep it up, they might have decided to ghost you rather than coming clean.

6. They’re busy.

A woman in an office is illuminated by a computer screen while holding a smartphone. She is seated at a desk with a keyboard, coffee cup, and stationery. The background shows city lights through a window, indicating nighttime.

We’re all busy people.

If they’ve got a lot going on in their life and are dating or talking to a few potential love interests at once, you might have just slipped through the cracks.

Whilst the truth is that they probably weren’t that interested either, they might not have deliberately ghosted you.

7. They can.

A woman with long brown hair and wearing a white crop top looks at her phone with a concerned expression while standing on a city street. She is holding a handbag with her left hand and touching her hair with her right hand.

Modern technology is wonderful in a lot of ways, but it does, unfortunately, give anyone who wants it the opportunity to just disappear, rather than being honest with someone they’ve been dating.

This is particularly true if you’ve met someone online.

Traditionally, we’d all meet people through work or mutual friends, meaning that we couldn’t just disappear because we’d see the other person around and have people asking questions.

But if you can be sure that you won’t bump into someone you’ve met online, and don’t have any friends in common, then you can ghost them without having to worry about the consequences, and some people take full advantage of that.

8. They’re tired of dating.

A person sits at a table near a window, looking at a smartphone. They are wearing a plaid shirt. On the table is a sandwich wrapped in paper and a coffee cup. The setting appears to be a casual dining spot.

Have you ever been on a real dating spree, going on lots of first dates, and then suddenly just not been able to face making the effort anymore?

That might be an explanation for why someone you’ve been dating has suddenly disappeared off the face of the earth.

9. They’ve got back with an ex.

A woman wearing reflective sunglasses and a yellow lace dress stands outdoors while looking at her smartphone. She is backlit by sunlight, with a building and greenery in the background.

If they’ve been telling you horrible things about their ex and then decide to get back with them, they’re going to be a bit embarrassed about it.

So, they might just decide not to give you an explanation at all.

10. They’ve met someone else.

A man with short brown hair and a beard lies on his side in bed, looking at a smartphone he is holding in his hand. He has a tattoo on his forearm and is wearing a white t-shirt. The background shows a pillow and a headboard.

It’s pretty normal for single people to be seeing multiple love interests at once, and it might be that they’ve decided to make things exclusive with one of those other people.

In an ideal world, they’d let you know about it, but unfortunately, we don’t live in an ideal world, so this could be the reason they’ve suddenly gone silent on you.

11. They’ve got a lot going on.

A young man with short hair and a trimmed beard wearing a teal t-shirt is leaning against a table while looking at his smartphone. He is in a modern living room with a white coffee table, black couch, and a geometric-patterned rug in the background.

If you’re going through a rough patch with your family, or with your mental health, the last thing you need is to be trying to maintain a new relationship.

It could be that the person you’ve been seeing has some big stuff going on in their life, meaning they just don’t have the mental space to dedicate to you right now.

The two of you haven’t got to a stage where they feel they can discuss these things with you, so they’ve just blocked you out instead.

12. They’re intimidated by you.

Two women sit at an outdoor café table with drinks in front of them. Both are wearing dark jackets and have long hair. One is holding a yellow smartphone while they both look in the same direction, appearing engaged in something off-camera. Buildings are in the background.

So, you’ve been chatting, or you’ve been on a date or two, and they’ve realized that the two of you are not on the same page.

You’re doing well with your life and career and have got your ducks in a row, or you’ve achieved a lot, and this makes them think that you’re out of their league.

But they don’t know how to explain that to you in a message or to your face, so they opt for the silent treatment instead.

13. They didn’t like something you did.

A man in a gray suit and glasses sits at a wooden table in a modern café. He holds a smartphone and checks it while his other hand rests on a laptop. The background shows large windows, greenery outside, and shelves with various items.

The fact that they’re ghosting you could be the result of something you said or did that didn’t sit well with them.

You might have a good idea of what that was, but you might not have a clue.

Either way, don’t worry. Hard as it might be to accept, you can’t be everyone’s cup of tea.

14. They’re inconsiderate.

A young man with short hair sits on a red park bench in a forested area. He is wearing a white shirt and green pants, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, appearing deep in thought. A phone lies on the bench beside him.

Whatever their reasons for ghosting you, it’s not a nice thing to do.

They’re not particularly considerate of your feelings and don’t want to put themselves out for your benefit by ending things, so you can be very sure that you’ve dodged a bullet.