If you're a loner, you'll understand these 9 big benefits to being one

Enjoying your own company comes with a lot of benefits.

A woman with glasses is smiling while reading a book. She is wearing a white shirt and sitting on a couch. The background is softly blurred, creating a cozy and relaxed atmosphere.

A long time ago, after a few very hectic college years, friends convinced me to go on a vacation with them. Nothing extravagant, just us seeing the sights in Chicago, maybe catching some jazz, a little hot museum action, Chicago’s fabulous aquarium, and good food.

I didn’t want to go.

I didn’t have a genuine reason not to, so I went.

When we got there, we did all the things we planned, sometimes all together, sometimes split off in pairs, and sometimes solo. It was a good trip, yet under the surface I felt unsettled.

It wasn’t the first time I’d felt this, but it was odd that I felt it now amidst so much love and deep friendship. Yet I was glad they’d dragged me out there. I felt refreshed.

Then it hit me: I’d felt the most refreshed those few times I’d engaged Chicago alone.

I looked back to see whether I’d felt this way before; what I saw was a clear pattern: I’d always had friends, but I was just as likely to be off by myself having an absurdly wonderful time.

It was then that I realized: I was a loner.

I decided to embrace it rather than fight against it, and in doing so, I discovered a surprising number of benefits, which, if you’re a loner, you’ll recognize too.

1. Going out alone is enjoyable, not embarrassing.

A woman with long hair and a beige sweater stands in an ornate theater. She is smiling, with rows of seats and audience blurred in the background, creating a lively and elegant atmosphere.

Can anybody say “cheap date for life”?

I am completely comfortable going to the movies, a restaurant, the mall, hell, even bowling if need be… ALONE. Always have been.

I never have to worry about impressing myself with what I’m ordering, or being seen as rude for burying my head in a book while waiting for appetizers, or even snort-laughing during a movie and thus killing any chance I had of being seen as sexy enough for fun times later.

I’m a cheap date of one and I love it.

2. Trends whoosh past you.

A smiling man with a full beard wearing headphones and a yellow and black striped shirt stands outdoors. The background is blurred, showing trees and soft sunlight.

Loners are the truffle pigs of life: they root out delicious, odd tidbits others might never notice, particularly within the arts.

What follows on from this is that they are often either the last to know about current trends or never find out entirely, which, in an age of YouTube stardom, is not always a bad thing.

I will never (ever) have Justin Bieber on my playlist, and I’m pretty happy about that.

3. You can embrace honesty without fear of rejection.

A man in glasses and a blue shirt is gesturing while talking to a woman with short hair in an office setting. They are seated at a table with coffee mugs, documents, and colorful pens in the foreground.

Because loners aren’t motivated by an overriding need to be liked by a large social group, they skew toward honesty, especially when asked a direct question.

This means I’ve told friends when a certain coat makes them look like an escaped bear; I’ve advised couples on the untold benefits of their breaking up; I can’t count the number of times I’ve been the only person to tell someone they had food stuck in their teeth (politely, of course).

It’s liberating.

4. You make David Bowie proud.

A man sits thoughtfully on a couch, holding a notepad and pen. A mop and cleaning supplies are nearby on the floor. The room is well-lit with a large plant and bookshelf in the background. A coffee cup sits on a table in the foreground.

“I know when to go out,” sang David Bowie in the song Modern Love, “And I know when to stay in, get things done.”

I totally do. Which is not to say that I always act on that knowledge, but I have far fewer guilty binges of “Why didn’t I do XYZ?!” than someone my age would normally have accumulated.

As a result, I get things done. Granted, that’s not a trait exclusive to a practical-minded loner, but it’s a win nonetheless.

5. You appreciate time and timeliness, and others appreciate you for it.

Two young men are smiling at each other while standing outdoors in a city. They are clasping hands in a friendly greeting. One is wearing a peach-colored t-shirt, and the other has on a white t-shirt. Buildings and a blue sky are visible in the background.

Looking back over my life, I clearly see that my “morning” knob was always set to “whenever I want to,” my relaxation dial went from zero to fuzzy slippers in two-point-six seconds, and I never made it to a movie late, seeing as my enjoyment was nothing to be trifled with.

Loners appreciate time in deep, often unspoken, ways. They won’t make you late, or make you wait for them, or even flake out entirely. If they ever do, you know it’s either an alien invasion, sudden volcano, or they’re rescuing ducklings from ninjas.

6. You don’t need other people around to have fun.

A woman with long brown hair is sitting at a restaurant table, smiling and holding a fork and knife. She is about to eat a meal on a white plate. The background shows a cozy, blurred restaurant setting with blue chairs.

I probably should have realized I was a loner after about the billionth time being asked, “Don’t you feel weird eating in public by yourself?”

None of my friends ever got asked that. People are so conditioned to think that if they’re not in contact with a group in some form or other, they’re deviant.

Deviants are supposed to feel shame in order to bring them back to the straight and narrow.

Yeah, right.

Why would I need other people to amuse me when I’m perfectly happy amusing myself?

7. Generosity and kindness are more important than gadgets and networking.

A woman with glasses and blonde hair, wearing a green "VOLUNTEER" shirt, smiles while holding a large box labeled "DONATIONS." She stands in a room with shelves of boxes and a rack of clothes. Various food items are on the table in front of her.

Loners are givers. Why? Because they’re not beholden to the notion of commercialism as identity. They have no problem giving money or time away that could have gone toward the latest smartphone or a power brunch with clients, because as we’ve discussed, fads and trends are of no interest to them.

8. You value friendships more than others and have better relationships as a result.

Two women are sitting at a table outdoors, enjoying coffee. One woman with long brown hair is wearing a light blue dress and smiling at the other, who has red hair. The background is a dark wooden panel.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t need others to fill a void or keep me entertained, but I do value my friendships deeply. My self-sufficiency has actually made my relationships stronger because I choose to spend time with people out of genuine desire, not necessity.

That’s not something a lot of people do, and it’s one of the biggest benefits to being a loner.

9. You’re rarely lonely.

A woman with long blonde hair, wearing a white hoodie and light-colored pants, sits cross-legged on a beige sofa. She looks to the side with a smile. The sofa is adorned with green and beige pillows and a green throw blanket. A white lamp stands in the background.

I used to think there was something wrong with me for not feeling lonely when I was alone. While others seemed to crave constant companionship, I found myself perfectly content in my own company. It wasn’t until I embraced my loner status that I realized this was actually a superpower. My thoughts, imagination, and personal interests became my most faithful companions, always ready for an adventure or a quiet night in.

When I find myself alone in a café, exploring a new city, or simply lounging at home, I don’t feel lonely – I feel lucky. Lucky to have found such good company in myself.