Couples who consider these 8 things before living together have happier, longer relationships

Did you consider these 8 things?

A smiling woman and man sit on the floor amidst moving boxes. Both are casually dressed in plaid shirts and jeans. The woman holds a phone, while the man holds a book. A coffee cup is visible in the background.

So… you’re thinking of moving in together. Or perhaps you already have.

It’s a big milestone in any relationship and is a great way to show your love for each other.

BUT…!

There are a few things to consider.

Couples who ask themselves (and each other) these 8 questions get the best out of the experience and build a relationship that lasts. Are you that couple?

1. How will you adjust to daily life together?

A man and woman are in a kitchen, conversing. The man is seated at a table with a cup of coffee and pastries, looking at the woman. The woman stands, gesturing with one hand while holding a coffee pot. The kitchen features brick walls and wooden cabinets.

Couples who settle into cohabitation easily think about how the reality of day-to-day life will affect their relationship before they take the plunge.

You’ll be around each other far more often than you’re used to.

You’ll have to deal with all of the little things – cleaning, taking the trash out, being grouchy in the morning!

Before you live with someone, you won’t necessarily have seen all there is to their personality and lifestyle.

It can come as a bit of a shock to realize what someone is like in their regular life if you’re used to seeing them on their best behavior.

Trivial though it sounds, it really pays to think about how you’ll respond to stuff like them leaving the loo seat up (really, though, why is it so hard?!) or deciding who cooks when you’re both staying late at work after a rubbish day.

Setting some ground rules and openly talking about expectations of living in the same house also stands you in a great position going forward.

2. How will you both maintain some personal space?

A man and a woman relax on a couch. The man, wearing a green sweater, listens to music with earphones and smiles at his phone. The woman, in a striped pink and white shirt, leans against the armrest, writing in a notebook. They are in a cozy room with a brick wall.

‘Space’ is such a boring thing and often gets dismissed in the excitement of spending more time together, but it’s something clever couples consider.

It’s crucial to talk about expectations, and make sure you run through the importance of personal space.

You don’t need to schedule in alone time (unless that’s important to you), but couples who make it work consider where they’ll each have space to decompress if they need to (after an argument, for instance).

They also make sure they both keep committed to their own hobbies.

There’s a massive temptation when you live with someone to just spend all your time with them.

And whilst it’s very sweet at first, it ends up leading to resentment due to a lack of personal space.

This can put a big strain on the relationship.

Instead, couples who make it work stick to some of the things they love doing on their own or with friends.

Having personal space and a place to wind down makes for a healthier, happier relationship.

3. How will you manage your finances?

A man and a woman are sitting on a gray couch. The man is holding a laptop and looking at the screen, while the woman, wearing a yellow shirt, is holding a credit card and smiling at the man. They appear to be shopping online together.

Money is awkward to talk about, we all know that.

Whether it’s your mate asking for that $2.23 you owe them or you having to gently remind your housemate (for the tenth time) that the rent is due, it’s a tricky subject to bring up.

By getting it out in the open before you move in with someone, you remove that awkwardness and potential cause for argument later down the line.

Couples who successfully live together often agree a budget for their mortgage/rent and bills, and make sure it’s feasible and manageable for them both.

They may go straight down the middle and pay half each, or they may make it relative to how much they each earn. But the key is they talk about who’ll buy groceries, and how they’ll cover those unexpected costs such as when the boiler breaks down.

It’s so boring, but it saves arguing over it later!

It means there’s less room for resentment or power plays (“I pay more rent so I get to choose what we have for dinner”), and it helps you both know where you stand.

4. Do either of you have skeletons in the closet?

A woman and a man are sitting across from each other at a table in a restaurant. The woman looks concerned, resting her chin on her hands and looking at the man, who is gesturing with his hands. The table has white tablecloths, red napkins, and a small potted plant.

Before you move in it’s key to discuss anything that you’ve been hiding from your partner.

Stuff like late payments or credit checks that could hinder your ability to rent a certain property. Or debt that you’re dealing with.

Getting this out in the open helps you know where you stand, and it gives you a fresh start together.

What’s more, it promotes the importance of transparency, particularly around money, which is something you respect the longer you live together.

5. How will you share the household duties?

A man in a teal shirt and blue jeans mops a light wooden floor in a bright, minimalist living room. The room features a white couch, a small green plant near a window, and a white bucket on the floor beside him. Sunlight filters through the window, illuminating the space.

We know, this list is getting a bit dull and sounds like a lecture your mom would give you – but that’s not a bad thing.

Couples who thrive living together discuss how they’ll tackle chores as a household.

Does one of you hate cooking but will happily do all the vacuuming?

Maybe one of you is allergic to bleach but will happily take the trash out every week.

Planning to split the practical chores in the house before you move in together causes much less drama when you do make the move.

6. Are there habits/hobbies you don’t want to give up?

A man in a light blue shirt holds an American football above his head with both hands. He stands outdoors against a clear blue sky, with trees faintly visible in the background. His expression is calm, and the photo is taken from a low angle.

There may be some things that you love doing and don’t want to give up just because you live with someone. That’s fair enough.

For example, you might have a close friend in another time zone that you FaceTime once a month – at 4am your time!

Or they may play football every Saturday morning.

Couples who make cohabitation work long term figure out how to keep parts of themselves and their life that matter, while merging it with their partner and this next step in their relationship.

They are honest about what matters to them, but are also open to compromising on a few less important things.

7. How will you decorate and furnish your shared home?

A woman holding a set of colorful paint swatches smiles at a man, who is also smiling. They stand in a bright room, perhaps discussing color choices for decorating. Light filters through sheer curtains in the background.

If you’re anything like me, you’ll be able to walk into a room and instantly see things you either hate or love.

Fluffy cushions? Absolutely not.

Feng Shui and candles? Yes.

When I’ve moved into shared accommodation before, it’s been hard to adjust to how other people choose to style their homes.

First-world problem, yes, but definitely something to consider when moving in with a partner.

This is particularly important if you’re moving into either your place or theirs.

Couples who enjoy living together feel on equal footing with each other and make it a shared home, not someone else’s home they happen to live in.

8. Are you actually moving in together for the right reasons?

A woman with long brown hair looks thoughtful and concerned in the foreground. Behind her, a man carries moving boxes in a room with yellow cushions on the floor. The scene suggests a moving or packing scenario.

It can be very easy to get carried away with a relationship.

When things are great, you want to be around them more and more, so why wouldn’t living together be fun?!

For most people, if it feels right, it probably is.

That being said, couples who make it last know it’s important to pause for a second, exit the love bubble, and make sure it does feel right – in real life.

They ask, “Have I been together for a long enough period of time that I’m genuinely ready to take the next step?”

They consider what they want to gain from living together, and think about how to combat any issues they’ve faced in the past when living with a partner. They make sure they’re doing it because they want to share that aspect of their life with their partner.

Thinking about these kinds of things helps them better prepare for this big step.

They don’t do it just because a) it makes financial sense, b) their lease is up and they ‘may as well,’ or c) they don’t have anywhere else to live!

Finally…

A couple stands in a living room filled with moving boxes, looking at each other and smiling. The room has large windows letting in natural light and a fireplace on one side. They appear to be in the process of moving into a new home.

These are some of the most important things sensible couples consider before they move in with their partner.

It doesn’t miraculously make living together stress-free, but it helps prepare for a bit of a shift. And that’s sets the stage for the rest of the relationship.