Find a life coach if there is something you want to change about your life

12 Self-Sabotaging Habits Of People Who Never Reach Their Full Potential

Disclosure: this page may contain affiliate links to select partners. We receive a commission should you choose to make a purchase after clicking on them. Read our affiliate disclosure.

Self-saboteurs rarely reach their potential because of these habits.

A close-up of a woman with long brown hair looking downward in a contemplative manner. Her expression appears thoughtful, with soft lighting highlighting her face. The background is blurred, focusing attention on her facial features.

There are many people out there who were always told that they had “so much promise”, yet never seemed to live up to their potential. In many cases, it’s because they’ve self-sabotaged every opportunity that arose with habits like these:

1. Refusing accountability for mistakes and missed opportunities.

A woman with long dark hair, wearing a black dress with white polka dots, stands against a solid red background. She has a puzzled expression, with raised eyebrows and pursed lips, and she is shrugging her shoulders with her palms facing up.

If they slept in late and missed a job interview, then it was their parents’ or spouse’s fault for not waking them, rather than their own for not having set multiple alarms. Basically, whenever they screw up, it’s because someone else failed them, rather than their own irresponsibility.

2. Ending a relationship or contract before another person ends it for them.

A woman in a grey hoodie stands with her arms crossed, looking away in frustration, while a man in a dark hoodie stands behind her with his head in his hands, appearing distressed. They are outdoors with a blurred beach and cliff background.

Those who feel like a situation or relationship is too good to be true will often take the initiative to walk away first, even if there’s no imminent ending in sight. It’s often less painful to ruin a good thing intentionally because that way they have control over how things unfold.

3. Screwing up choices for advancement to avoid stress.

A woman with light eyes and freckles gazes thoughtfully to the right. Her hand is near her mouth, and she is wearing a black top. The background is a soft beige, creating a calm atmosphere.

A person who doesn’t want the stress, responsibility, or potential failure in a higher-ranking position might mess up advancement interviews so they’re forced to remain in their current role. For example, someone in the military might spend their career at a lower rank because they’re comfortable there, and afraid of change.

4. Doing too much, too soon, and then giving up.

A young woman with long blonde hair is resting her chin on her hands, gazing intently at a computer screen in a dimly lit room. She has a serious expression. In the foreground, a pair of eyeglasses are placed on the wooden desk beside a keyboard.

If someone suddenly decides to get in shape, they might throw themselves into fitness and work out for several hours a day. This isn’t sustainable, and often leads to injury… which will make them lose the gains they’ve worked for, leading to them give up instead of regrouping and taking things slowly.

5. Finding excuses as to why they can’t do the thing.

A woman with shoulder-length brown hair leans against a white wall, looking thoughtful and concerned. She is wearing a blue blouse and has her hands clasped in front of her chin. The background is softly lit with a neutral tone.

There’s always a reason why they can’t do a thing that’ll benefit them. They can’t go back to school for the degree they’ve always wanted because they have too many household responsibilities. Or they can’t take the job opportunity in another country because their relatives will miss them too much.

6. Trading one unhealthy coping mechanism for another.

A man with dark hair and a beard is sitting on a gray couch, wearing a brown jacket over a striped shirt and blue jeans. He is drinking water from a glass. The table is messy with pizza, empty cans, and bottles around. There are exposed brick walls in the background.

Some people have coping mechanisms for stress and upset that can hinder their personal advancement. If they’re confronted about their unhealthy reliance on illicit substances or TV addiction, they might swap those out for junk food and social media instead. Essentially, they’re seeking the comfort and soothing of familiarity and easy engagement.

7. Procrastination.

A man with short, light brown hair and a beard sits on a couch by a window holding a tablet. He is wearing a black long-sleeve shirt and jeans. Two candles are placed on the window sill next to him.

Why do something today that can be put off for several months, and then lamented about when said procrastination has dire repercussions? Whether a person is struggling with executive function or not, refusing to take care of an issue when it arises inevitably results in it worsening over time.

8. Not resting enough.

A person with long, wavy blonde hair looks to the side while standing on a city street. They wear a white top with a blue-gray jacket. The background features blurred buildings and cars on a busy road.

You can’t draw from an empty well, but many people fail to meet their full potential because they never allow themselves to stop and rest. A person who’s sleep deprived won’t be able to function properly, but type A personalities often feel that resting makes them lazy and self-indulgent.

9. Giving up at the first setback.

A woman with long dark hair sits on her heels against a dark green wall in a dimly lit room with wooden floors. She is wearing a black dress and jacket, with her hands resting on her knees, looking contemplative. A window with diffused light is in the background.

Some folks who never reach their full potential are perfectionists who quit anything if they aren’t immediately amazing at it. In reality, anything worth doing is going to take a lot of time and practice, which will inevitably involve setbacks and failures. Nobody is an expert on their first try.

10. Assuming that something “won’t work” so they don’t bother trying.

A man with short brown hair and a beard sits with his hands clasped in front of his face. He is wearing a black t-shirt and looking slightly to the left. Books and shelves are visible in the blurred background.

This applies to many different circumstances, ranging from physical or emotional therapy to various approaches to one’s work or craft. They may choose to ignore the various options available to them because they “just know” that they won’t be successful, or sabotage half-hearted attempts, thus creating a self-fulfilling prophecy.

11. Being punitive if they feel they’ve fallen short of their mark.

A man wearing a dark jacket and baseball cap stands under a bridge with his hands in his pockets. He is looking downward. The sun is setting in the background, casting a warm glow on the scene. Water and the bridge's supports are visible.

They may allow small setbacks to dictate their actions for long periods of time. For instance, if they cheat on the healthy diet they’ve been following for months, they’ll indulge in comfort foods for several weeks to punish themselves for a moment of perceived weakness, since to them, one misstep = failure.

12. Refusing to accept something because they’re too afraid of losing it.

A man with a beard and short hair, wearing a striped shirt and a grey t-shirt, is leaning his head against a glass window with both hands. He appears to be deep in thought or concerned, with a serious expression on his face. The background is blurred.

For many people, achieving something they want is terrifying to them because they’re so afraid of it being taken from them. In their minds, it’s better to never attain their greatest dream because that hurts much less than getting it, and then losing it—either by their own actions or someone else’s.

About The Author

Finn Robinson has spent the past few decades travelling the globe and honing his skills in bodywork, holistic health, and environmental stewardship. In his role as a personal trainer and fitness coach, he’s acted as an informal counselor to clients and friends alike, drawing upon his own life experience as well as his studies in both Eastern and Western philosophies. For him, every day is an opportunity to be of service to others in the hope of sowing seeds for a better world.