If someone is using you as a rebound relationship, they'll display these 10 behaviors

Rebound relationships are tricky to handle.

A couple smiles warmly at each other as the man hugs the woman from behind on a sunny street. She wears a striped top and he wears a denim shirt. They are standing near a historic building in an urban setting.

For some people they can just be a bit of fun and the boost to their self-esteem that they need to get over a breakup (with the other person being fully aware of and okay with that). In other circumstances, both parties can end up getting hurt.

But what counts as a rebound? For some, “too soon” might mean a month, but others might not have resolved their feelings six months, or even years later.

So, you may think that enough time has passed for someone you’re interested in to no longer be considered on the rebound…

…but you should be aware that it’s impossible to put a strict time limit on these things.

Also, bear in mind that it is possible to have more than one rebound relationship. Some people jump from one such relationship to the next, frustrated that they can’t replicate the deep connection they had with their ex.

So what are the signs you need to look out for that indicate you’re just a rebound?

1. They only split up with their ex in the last few months.

A man with a beard is sitting on a sofa, angrily burning a photo with a lighter. The photo shows a smiling couple. The background is dark and slightly out of focus, emphasizing the man's expression and actions.

As mentioned, there’s no hard and fast rule about how soon after a breakup is too soon to get into a new relationship, but there are still some vague guidelines you can follow.

If they’ve broken up with a long-term partner within the last three months, or have separated from a spouse, or someone they’ve had children with, within the last six months, it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t date them, but you’d do well to be on your guard.

2. They’ve fallen head over heels in love with you in two seconds flat.

A woman smiling and embracing a man with her arms around his neck. They are standing outdoors, with greenery and mountainous landscape in the background. The man is wearing a checkered shirt, and the woman is in a light-colored top and cardigan.

You’re charming and all, but you’ve only just met and hardly know each other, and they’re already totally besotted with you.

Have their feelings gone from 0 to 10 in no time at all? It’s always wonderful to be adored, but it might be making you feel a bit uncomfortable, overwhelmed, and skeptical.

3. They act like you’ve been together for years when it’s only been days or weeks.

A woman and a man sit on a beige couch in a cozy living room, watching TV. The man is holding a remote control and a bowl of potato chips. There are two standing lamps beside them, and various pieces of art on the wall. They both appear relaxed and focused.

New couples tend to go out on dates. Have a few drinks. Do fun activities together.

But, as we all know, once we’ve settled into a relationship, nights in with Netflix become more of a regular fixture.

If they’re providing you with the full-on boyfriend/girlfriend experience, acting like you’ve been together for years when you’ve only known them for five minutes, that’s a big red flag.

4. They blow hot and cold.

A woman with brown hair and a neutral expression lies on a couch, propping up her head with one hand. She is wearing a beige blouse and looking at her smartphone. Pillows are behind her, and soft light filters through a window.

They might have been obsessed with you one minute, but the next they’re suddenly cold and distant.

And then they switch right back.

Or they might be moody for no explicable reason.

That’s probably because they’re going through ups and downs whilst getting over their ex.

One minute they’re focusing on how wonderful you are; the next they’re having a flashback to their ex.

They have no idea what they want out of life, let alone this relationship with you.

5. You feel like you’re being assessed.

Two people are sitting at a table in a bright room, holding coffee mugs and smiling at each other. One wears a yellow shirt and jeans, the other a green shirt and jeans. There are large windows in the background.

There’s some kind of invisible yardstick that you have a feeling you’re being measured against.

They might come out and tell you that you’re better than their ex, or you might just suspect that they’re watching your every move and giving you gold stars or black marks depending on how you behave.

6. They’re a serial monogamist.

A smiling couple holding hands across a café table, gazing into each other's eyes. The man, wearing a hat and glasses, sits opposite the woman with sunglasses on her head. A small potted plant is on the table outside a cozy establishment with colorful flowers in the background.

From what you can tell, he or she has been jumping from relationship to relationship throughout their adult life and hasn’t ever taken any time to be by his or herself.

That’s a sign that rebounding is their tactic for getting over (or avoiding getting over) breakups.

They might not be in this relationship because they really want to be with you, but rather be in it for the sake of being with someone.

7. They act like their previous relationship wasn’t a big deal.

A man and a woman sit at a café table behind a window. The woman, smiling, holds the man's hand and brings it to her mouth as if kissing it. They are both enjoying beverages, with cups and a teapot on the table. The scene is cozy and warm.

They find it hard to admit to you that their previous relationship was important or significant.

If someone’s trying to convince you that their ten-year marriage or five-year relationship didn’t mean anything to them, you should be wary.

8. It’s all physical.

A woman with long brown hair looks intently at the camera, sitting in bed against a wooden headboard. In the foreground, a person with curly hair is blurred, facing away from the camera, resting their chin on their hand.

In search of a connection of some kind, but unable to replicate the deep connection they had with their ex, they will often want little more than action between the sheets.

That action might be incredible, but if they’re not showing a desire to get to know you beyond that, they could be a rebounder.

9. They’re still in constant contact with their ex.

A woman in a red dress smiles while talking on her cellphone during a candlelit dinner. A man in a white shirt sits beside her, looking bored and holding a glass of red wine. A bouquet of red roses and more wine are on the table, set against a city night backdrop.

While it’s normal to maintain some level of communication with an ex, especially if they share children or mutual friends, excessive contact can be a red flag.

If they’re constantly texting, calling, or meeting up with their ex, it might indicate that they’re not fully ready to move on. This ongoing connection could be a sign that you’re simply filling a temporary void in their life.

10. They avoid making future plans with you.

A man and woman sit at a wooden table with coffee cups and phones. The man, wearing a plaid shirt, gestures while talking. The woman, in a gray sweater, listens with a thoughtful expression, her head resting on her hand. The setting appears to be a casual café.

In a healthy relationship, both partners are usually eager to make plans for the future, whether it’s a weekend getaway or discussing long-term goals.

If they consistently dodge conversations about the future or seem hesitant to commit to plans more than a few days in advance, it could be because they’re not sure how long they want this rebound relationship to last.

Finally…

A woman wearing a black hat smiles warmly at a man on a beach. The sun is shining, and the ocean and mountains are visible in the background. They appear to be in a relaxed and happy moment.

Rebound relationships are complex and can be emotionally risky for everyone involved. While not all relationships that start soon after a breakup are doomed to fail, it’s crucial to be aware of these signs and proceed with caution.

If you recognize several of these red flags in your current relationship, it doesn’t necessarily mean you should end things immediately. However, it does warrant an honest conversation about where you both stand and what you’re looking for.