Are you really an empath? Or do you just thrive on drama-tainment?

Some people label themselves as empaths when they’re almost certainly not.

A woman with long hair gazes thoughtfully into the distance. She is wearing a patterned scarf and a jacket, with her chin resting on her hand. The background is softly blurred, suggesting an outdoor setting. The lighting is warm and gentle.

A lot of people refer to themselves as empaths, but that doesn’t mean their self-chosen title is a valid one. The following questions may shed some light on whether you’re really an empath, or if you just really like the thrill and entertainment that other people’s dramas offer.

1. Do you get bored when you aren’t feeling intense emotion?

A woman with long brown hair, wearing a white sweater, rests her head on her hand while sitting on a couch. She looks thoughtfully into the distance with a pensive expression. Pillows in pastel colors are in the foreground.

A startling number of people who claim to be empaths get bored when they aren’t dealing with some type of drama or crisis. As such, they often get involved in other people’s issues under the guise of empathy so that they have the opportunity to feel something intense, thus alleviating their boredom.

2. Do you feel a need to tell people that you’re an empath?

Two women having a conversation outdoors. The woman on the left is facing away from the camera, and the woman on the right, with long dark hair and wearing a light-colored jacket, appears to be reacting with a surprised or confused expression.

People aren’t always what they claim to be, and most empaths will never broadcast that aspect of themselves—mostly because it can be so difficult to deal with. If you keep telling everyone what an empath you are, ask yourself what the motivation is behind that action.

3. Can you stay out of other people’s business without indulging your curiosity?

A person with curly hair and red-painted fingernails leans on a railing, gazing thoughtfully into the distance. The background is blurred, showing an urban setting with a tall building and greenery.

Some people believe that because they’re empaths, they have the green light to do some emotional private investigation, without invitation. They’ll ask leading questions or do some recon about the situation unfolding, thus inserting themselves into it without the courtesy of asking anyone involved for their consent.

4. Do you use empathy to avoid unpleasant personal self-work because you “feel too much”?

A young man with short hair and a serious expression gazes directly at the camera. He rests his chin on his hand, and is wearing a white shirt. The background is black, creating a strong contrast with his face and clothing.

Most folks don’t like to face unpleasant realities about themselves because they’re uncomfortable, or even shame-inducing. A lot of them try to avoid doing so by any means necessary—such as saying that their empath abilities make all of this far too painful for them to handle.

5. Do you use being an empath as an excuse not to run errands or have responsibilities because of how overwhelmed you get?

A woman with long blonde hair sits on a couch, eyes closed, gently massaging her temple with her fingers. She appears to be experiencing a headache or stress. The background is softly blurred, suggesting a bright, calm room.

Empaths tend to be more sensitive to external stimuli than others, and occasionally have to use things like earplugs or sunglasses to lessen discomfort in various situations. That’s quite different from avoiding any personal or household responsibilities because your so-called empath abilities won’t allow you to go to work or grocery shopping.

6. Do you abuse substances as an excuse to tamp down your empathic sensitivity?

A woman sits at a wooden table, resting her head on her hand while holding a glass of red wine. She has a contemplative expression, and an unopened bottle of wine is also on the table. The background shows a kitchen with shelves and various items.

Some empaths use substances like cannabis to dampen their abilities in situations where they’ll be overwhelmed, but only use them when they need to. Do you fall into this category? Or do you indulge in recreational substances on a regular basis and use empathy as an excuse for doing so?

7. Do you make other people’s problems about you?

Two women with blonde hair are indoors, having a serious discussion. The woman on the left, gesturing with her hand, appears to be speaking, while the woman on the right, sitting on a couch or bed, looks away with a thoughtful or dissatisfied expression.

For instance, if someone is talking about how sad they are that their parent died, do you offer them sympathy and support? Or do you immediately launch into a story about how you know exactly how they feel because your pet hamster died when you were nine, and you still aren’t over it?

8. Do you ostracize and label people as narcissists or sociopaths if they disagree with you?

A woman in a business suit stands in an office, pointing her finger and appearing agitated while speaking to a man whose back is turned to the camera. Various office furniture and equipment, including desks and chairs, are visible in the background.

Many people who claim to be empaths are quick to label others negatively if they disagree with them or don’t believe in their abilities, calling them narcissists or sociopaths, saying they’re projecting, and so on. In contrast, real empaths accept the validity of others’ perspectives and don’t play armchair psychotherapist or diagnostician.

9. Do you support people on their own terms, or simply dictate what they should be doing?

Two women sit on a brown couch having a serious conversation. The woman on the left, in a light purple dress, looks concerned with her hand on her head. The woman on the right, in a grey dress, holds her hand in a comforting gesture.

When you’re trying to help someone through a difficult situation, do you ask how you can best support them in the way(s) that work best for them as individuals? Or do you tell them what to do without asking whether your recommendations are either wanted, or appropriate for their needs?

10. Do you seek out people with problems because you get a thrill from the high emotions you feel from the situation?

A woman with red hair and a black leather jacket stands against a brick wall, facing a man with dark hair and wearing a black shirt. She has a surprised or frustrated expression, with her mouth open and eyebrows raised. The man’s back is to the camera.

For example, do you find it thrilling to get into scenarios where abuse or violence could be a potential issue so you can either take a side or intervene? And if so, do you seek those situations out (even on an unconscious level) with the excuse that you’re trying to “help”?

11. Do you use the label of “empath” to get into social groups that you hold in high regard?

Three women sit around a wooden table enjoying hot beverages and snacks. One woman, with pink hair, holds a cup and smiles. Knit items and yarn are scattered on the table. Large windows in the background let in natural light, creating a cozy atmosphere.

Many people who are keen to be recognized and embraced by wellness circles take on labels like “empath” or “shaman” in an attempt to validate themselves in other people’s eyes. Their abilities may not be real, but their eagerness to be accepted into the cool kids’ club certainly is.

12. Are you naturally attracted to narcissists, or do you avoid them like the plague?

A woman with her hands on her temples appears frustrated while a man behind her raises his hand and seems angry. Both are indoors in a room with white walls and minimal furniture.

Many empaths end up in relationships with narcissists because the two create such an intense codependency with one another. If you’re drawn to those with NPD, then your empathy is likely real. In contrast, if you avoid narcissists easily and contemptuously, you may be less of an empath than you think.