Men Who Truly Love Their Partners Would Never Do These 11 Things

These things are a big no-no where true love is involved.

A smiling man in a gray sweater lifts a woman in an orange sweater and beige cap, who points excitedly into the distance. They are outdoors with a soft-focus background of trees and structures, under a warm, golden light.

A lot of people say that they love their partners, but actions speak much more loudly than words ever will. If your man truly adores you, he’d never do any of the things that follow.

1. Allow others to behave badly towards you, without defending you.

Three people sitting at a table with coffee cups: a woman with dark hair, an older woman speaking and gesturing, and a man sipping from a cup. A teapot, jam, and croissants are on the table in a well-lit room.

That includes his own family. If he just stands by and doesn’t say anything if someone insults or threatens you, then you really need to reevaluate your relationship with this guy. If he doesn’t want to “rock the boat” by coming to your defense, he’ll likely throw you to the wolves to save himself.

2. Speak about you like you’re a possession when he’s with his friends.

Three men are sitting at a bar, raising their glasses for a cheers. They are dressed casually and appear to be enjoying their time together. There is a wooden bar counter and some background patrons blurred out.

Does he talk about you like you’re an object, and share details about your intimate life with his buddies? Then not only does he lack integrity, he sees you as an accessory. That isn’t love: it’s ownership, and he’s likely to discard you as soon as you begin to “devalue” in his eyes.

3. Disrespect you.

A man and woman stand outdoors near a body of water and trees. The man, wearing a gray coat, is shouting and pointing aggressively at the woman, who looks distressed and is holding her coat closed. The woman’s expression shows pain and fear.

When a man truly loves you, he’ll make sure that you feel honored and respected. He won’t leave dirty laundry on the floor for you to pick up like you’re his maid, nor will he sit back and expect to be waited upon. He’ll treat you like an equal, cherished partner.

4. Intentionally overstep or break your boundaries.

A woman with long hair sits cross-legged on a wooden floor against a plain white wall. She is wearing a denim jacket, jeans, and an orange top, with one hand raised in a stop gesture, her expression serious, conveying a clear message to halt or stop.

Mistakes happen, and if he oversteps accidentally, he’ll apologize for doing so and ensure that it doesn’t happen again. If instead the overstep is repeated, especially smugly or intentionally (as if to establish dominance in the relationship), then you know he doesn’t truly love you.

5. Try to change you into his preferred version of yourself.

A man and a woman sit on a couch; the man has his arm around the woman's shoulder, offering comfort. The woman, with long dark hair, looks downward with a sad expression. The background shows plants and soft furnishings.

If the man you’re with keeps making suggestions about how you can change to better suit his ideal version of you, then it’s unlikely that he actually loves you. Instead, he loves his idea or vision of who you could be, if you weren’t so defiant about changing “just a few things”.

6. Punish you for not behaving the way he’d prefer.

A woman with long brown hair wearing a white sweater sits on a couch, resting her head on her left hand and looking upset. In the background, a man with short brown hair in a blue shirt sits with his arms crossed, looking away. Both appear to be in distress.

Does your guy give you the silent treatment or withhold affection if you don’t do the things he wants? That’s a form of manipulative abuse in which he’s trying to program you to behave for positive rewards and reinforcement. If he loved you, he would never behave so shamefully or childishly.

7. Take your kindness for granted.

An older woman and man are enjoying time together in a modern kitchen. The woman, wearing an apron, gestures towards the counter filled with various vegetables. The man, dressed in a denim jacket, holds a glass of white wine. Another person is blurred in the foreground.

When a man loves you, he sees that you remember how he takes his coffee and what size socks he wears so you can pick some up for him when his get holes in them. He never takes you for granted because he remembers what life was like without you.

8. Weaponize your insecurities.

A man is standing beside a bed, angrily gesturing and yelling, while a woman sits on the bed with her eyes closed and fingers pressing her temples, appearing frustrated or stressed.

We all have insecurities, and when we spend a lot of time with others (like in a relationship), they get to recognize them. If your man loves you, he’ll never weaponize yours and use them against you, even if you’re having an atrocious argument, because he knows what long-term damage that might cause.

9. Sabotage things you love.

A woman with long brown hair and wearing a gray shirt gently places her hand on the shoulder of a man who is holding his face in his hands, showing he is distressed. She looks concerned while trying to comfort him.

While some guys might get insecure or petulant if you don’t pay enough attention to them (because you’re doing your own thing), a man who loves you will encourage you to enjoy your own pursuits. He won’t guilt trip you into canceling outings, or “accidentally” lose or damage your craft supplies, and so on.

10. Leave you in the lurch.

A woman in a white coat stands in the foreground, covering her face with her hands. In the background, a man in a tan coat stands with his hands in his pockets. They are in front of a large, arched brick wall. The scene appears to be emotionally charged.

If the two of you get into difficulty together, he won’t leave you holding the bag and abandon you to sort it out. Whether this is an unplanned pregnancy or an unexpected debt, he’ll stand by you and see things through by your side, as part of a united team.

11. Hit you.

A woman with long blonde hair, sitting on a gray sofa, looks distressed as she focuses on a clenched fist in the foreground. The background features a white brick wall.

This is an unforgivable action and should be a one-strike rule in any relationship. A man who hits you does not love you, and will hit you again if given the chance to do so. Love is never violent. If he ever hits you, get help immediately, walk away, and never look back.