12 behaviors that indicate someone was rarely disciplined as a child

A lack of discipline in childhood can lead to these traits and behaviors.

A young boy with short blonde hair and a striped polo shirt looks uncomfortable as a hand gently pulls his ear. The background is plain white.

Have you ever watched someone act horribly and wondered why they think they can get away with that kind of behavior? There’s a good chance it’s because they were never properly disciplined as a child and never learned that actions such as the ones that follow are completely unacceptable.

1. Behaving as though they can get away with whatever they like.

A woman with long blonde hair, wearing a black turtleneck and a tan coat, stands against a bright blue background. She has her hands together in front of her chest and is looking to the side with a playful, mischievous expression on her face.

When kids aren’t disciplined, they don’t learn the invaluable lesson that actions have consequences. YouTube is rife with examples of people who behave atrociously in front of police, and are then shocked and surprised when they’re arrested. They’ll also be belligerent with larger, stronger people, and then play the victim card when there’s retaliation.

2. Tantrums.

A man wearing glasses and a white t-shirt is raising his arms and shouting at a woman with long hair and glasses, who is sitting at a table with a plate of croissants. An open laptop and a bowl of fruit are also on the table.

It’s uncomfortable and embarrassing when grown adults throw wild tantrums that are unbecoming of their age. Children behave that way because they can’t regulate their emotions properly, but discipline teaches them how to control themselves. If they don’t learn this lesson, they’ll keep behaving like toddlers for their entire lives.

3. “I have X issue, so I can do what I want.”

A woman with shoulder-length blond hair is gesturing with her hands up and a slightly exasperated expression on her face. She is sitting indoors and facing a person who is partially visible in the foreground. The setting appears to be casual.

A huge part of discipline involves holding people accountable for their actions, rather than allowing them to justify awful things they’ve done with paltry excuses. For example, saying that their terrible behavior is “just how they are” because of a particular health diagnosis, personal or ancestral trauma, and so on.

4. They don’t handle defeat well.

A bearded man passionately playing foosball, wearing a brown sweater and standing near a table with a bicycle and shelves in the background.

Sore losers tend to be those who were coddled and mollified as children if they lost a game or didn’t win a prize, rather than learning how to lose graciously. Adults who didn’t learn gracious self-discipline in their youth will pitch fits when they lose, and gloat when they win.

5. A strange sense of entitlement.

A woman in a white apron gestures with her finger at a man sitting at a table. The man, wearing a hat and denim shirt, looks up at her while gesturing with his hands. They are in a modern room with large grid windows. A coffee cup is on the table.

Do you remember Veruca Salt from Willy Wonka? The girl who wanted everything now, and screamed if she wasn’t indulged? Children who don’t get disciplined for being greedy and demanding continue that type of behavior well into adulthood, and often treat others badly if they don’t cave to their perpetual demands.

6. They’re very bad at sharing.

A man humorously eats a cake directly with his mouth while holding the plate. A woman beside him looks at the empty plate she's holding, pouting in mock disappointment. The background is bright pink.

Kids can be selfish little goblins, and have to be taught how to share. Those who aren’t—and were not disciplined for selfishness—never learn to be generous and fair with others. As adults, they’ll choose the best items for themselves, take the largest portions, and get resentful if they need to share anything.

7. They’re careless with others’ belongings.

A man in a blue shirt holds a laptop overhead with both hands, appearing frustrated or angry, against a plain white background.

When kids get frustrated or angry, they often throw or smash things in a fit of rage. This will become a common practice if they don’t get disciplined for breaking their own belongings, and will often extend to breaking other people’s stuff as punishment if things don’t go their way.

8. They cannot reconcile their actions with the consequences facing them.

A person with long red hair and black-framed glasses is making a pouty face with wide-open eyes. They hold their hands up near their chin, palms facing outward. They are wearing a light blue shirt and are set against a plain background.

As children, they may have prodded a dog repeatedly and then ran crying when it nipped them, only for the dog to be disciplined instead of them. In adulthood, there seems to be a cognitive dissonance within them regarding cause and effect, and many firmly believe that they did nothing to deserve “unwarranted” punishment for unkind or irresponsible acts.

9. They seem to expect everything around them to happen by magic.

A man with a beard is sitting on a blue couch playing video games with a controller, while a woman is ironing clothes behind him in a living room. The room is cluttered with laundry, a laundry basket, snacks, and drinks, and is decorated with wall art and a bookshelf.

Children who weren’t disciplined for being slovenly or irresponsible with their belongings grow into adults who expect everything around them to magically tidy themselves. Furthermore, they often haven’t been taught how to do basic chores such as washing dishes, doing laundry, and so on.

10. They’re flippant with what they say, not caring how it may affect others.

A person wearing a black leather jacket and a black shirt stands against a plain background, shrugging with both hands raised and a slight smile, conveying a sense of uncertainty or indifference.

Those of us who were disciplined for saying hurtful things to people as kids learned that words can cause real damage. Sometimes badly. In contrast, those who weren’t reprimanded for being cruel don’t learn real empathy, and may be flippant and mean without considering how their words affect others.

11. Poor table etiquette.

A woman in a white shirt is sitting at a table eating spaghetti with a fork. She looks focused on her meal, with a plate of pasta in front of her and a woven placemat on the table. The background is a plain gray wall.

This isn’t a question of not using a soup spoon correctly so much as eating like an animal. People who weren’t disciplined for poor table manners as children will grow into adults who chew with their mouths open while spitting food everywhere, slurp their soup, and wipe their hands on their clothes.

12. They lie.

A woman with long blonde hair and wearing a light purple top and a white collar points to her elongated nose, resembling Pinocchio's nose, while looking at it. The background is plain white.

Most of us were disciplined for lying as children, and learned the hard way that telling falsehoods can have severe consequences. When people don’t learn this lesson, they continue this behavior and carry on lying throughout their lives. This causes them to grow into untrustworthy, fickle adults with little integrity or ethics.