12 Red Flags In Toxic Relationships That Too Many People Overlook

It’s surprising how many people miss these red flags.

A woman with long dark hair in a black dress stands in the foreground, gazing confidently at the camera. A man with a beard and short hair, wearing a white shirt and tie, stands behind her. They are lit dramatically with red and blue lighting.

Relationships are meant to be a source of love, support and growth, but in reality, not all relationships end up that way. Some can become negative in a way that damages our self-esteem and overall mental well-being. However, it can be difficult to recognize the signs of a toxic relationship—especially when feelings for your loved one can cloud your judgment. Here are 12 red flags to look out for, and why they can be hard to see.

1. Constant criticism.

A woman gestures with frustration while sitting on a couch next to a man who is covering his face with his hands. The man appears to be distressed, and they are in a room with a large window in the background.

If you’ve noticed your partner making insulting comments about your appearance or personality, followed by them telling you that it’s “just a joke,” it should set alarm bells ringing. Many people mistakenly interpret this type of criticism as their partner showing care or concern for them, but these disguised “jokes” are really a method of breaking down your self-worth.

2. Excessive jealousy.

A man in a red sweater sits on a gray couch, engrossed in his smartphone. A woman with long blonde hair and wearing an orange blouse leans over from behind, seemingly curious about what he is looking at. Shelves with books and decor are in the background.

It’s normal for feelings of jealousy to emerge at some point in a relationship; who wouldn’t get mad over someone flirting with your partner? But if it develops into a persistent pattern of your partner snooping through your belongings or tracking your location to make sure you’re being loyal to them, that could be an indication of extreme trust issues.

3. Controlling behavior.

A woman sits pensively on a couch, resting her chin on her hand, appearing upset. A man sits nearby, gesturing with one hand, seemingly talking to her. The room is softly lit, with shelves and decor in the background.

One of the more subtle signs of a toxic relationship is a partner exerting controlling behaviors. These can include them telling you what to wear, who to hang out with, or how to act in certain situations. It initially can be interpreted as a desire to keep you safe, but it could develop into possessiveness and potential emotional abuse in the future.

4. Isolation from friends and family.

A close-up image of a couple consoling each other. The woman is looking down with a sad expression, while the man gently holds her face and rests his forehead against hers in a comforting gesture. They both have serious, concerned looks on their faces.

One of the obvious signs of a toxic relationship involves a partner’s attempt to cut you off from your support network. It makes sense to want to prioritize their needs over friends and family members, but if it extends into them forcing you to cut your loved ones off altogether, that is a serious issue that shouldn’t be ignored.

5. Unpredictable behavior.

A woman with a concerned expression stands in the background, wearing a striped top. In the foreground, a man in a white dress shirt and loosened tie looks forward with a serious expression. Both are indoors with bright lighting.

When your partner has a stressful day, it’s normal to assume that the best way to help them feel better is through love and support. But if you’ve noticed their moods swinging back and forth—from sweet and caring to cold and mean—without warning, it can leave you walking on eggshells, never knowing which version of your partner will show up.

6. Love-bombing.

A close-up of a smiling couple facing each other. The man has a beard and is wearing a yellow shirt, while the woman has long brown hair and is wearing a blue and white striped shirt. They appear happy and content, with their noses nearly touching.

Picture this: you meet someone, and both of you immediately hit it off. Soon after, they start to shower you with gifts and plan your future together—only to ghost you shortly after. Love-bombing behavior can be intoxicating, making you feel like you found the one. However, this is a form of manipulation that toxic people use to keep you wrapped around their finger.

7. Gaslighting.

A man and woman are having an intense conversation in a bright kitchen. The woman, with a concerned expression, has her hands on her head. The man speaks to her gesturing with his hand. Various kitchen appliances and items are visible in the background.

Gaslighting is another manipulation tactic used to make someone question their reality. Many victims of gaslighting may think that their partner means well; if they say that something you experienced wasn’t a big deal, why shouldn’t you believe them? However, this can lead to feelings of anger, confusion, and guilt, regardless of whether you did something wrong.

8. Lack of accountability.

A man and a woman stand close to each other against a gray background. The woman, wearing a blue top, has her hand on the man's chest and is looking at him with a serious expression. The man, in a denim shirt, faces her with a slightly amused look.

Even if your partner is successful in their career or adored by friends and family, that doesn’t mean they are able to take responsibility for their own behavior. If they constantly blame the people around them for their actions—and the consequences that come with them—it showcases immaturity and a distinct lack of emotional intelligence.

9. Disregarding boundaries.

A man and a woman are having a serious conversation on a couch. The man, with a serious expression, is gesturing with his finger, while the woman is gesturing with her hands, appearing to explain or argue. A lamp and a textured white wall are in the background.

Boundaries, no matter how big or small, are important because they help to define what is and what isn’t acceptable behavior in a relationship. Misunderstandings associated with them are bound to come up, especially if the relationship is newer. But if your partner chooses to continue to ignore these boundaries, that is a sign that they don’t respect you, period.

10. Refusing to compromise.

A woman and man stand outside, looking in opposite directions with serious expressions. The woman has her arms crossed, wearing a light purple sweater, and the man is wearing a grey sweater. They appear to be having a disagreement. The background is blurred.

Relationships are all about compromise. Even if you and your partner completely disagree on something, being able to put those differences aside and work towards a solution together is what allows successful couples to grow. Having a stubborn partner who is unwilling to work with you can lead to feelings of resentment that can negatively affect your relationship.

11. Constant reassurance.

A couple stands close to each other, gently touching foreheads. They are outdoors on a sunny day, surrounded by trees and a blurred background. Both are smiling softly, with affectionate expressions.

Having your partner tell you that they love you, no matter how many times they’ve told you before, is guaranteed to make you feel warm and fuzzy inside. However, if your partner is using you as their sole support network, this could add pressure and set up a toxic dynamic where it seems like their happiness is your responsibility.

12. Poor communication.

A woman with blonde hair looks pensively over her shoulder, resting her chin on her hand. In the blurred background, a man with a beard and blue shirt sits facing away. The scene appears to depict a tense or contemplative moment between the two.

Communication does not come easy for everyone. If you’re the type of person who is afraid of confrontation, it’s understandable if having difficult conversations with your partner is scary to you. However, if they choose to speak to you passive-aggressively or give you the silent treatment instead of addressing issues head-on, that’s a behavior to be concerned about.