Partners become strangers when they engage in these 10 behaviors regularly

Do you want to drift apart from your partner? No? Then stop doing these things.

A man and woman in casual plaid shirts stand back-to-back outdoors, with the woman looking down and touching her hair. The background shows an open, sunny landscape under a clear blue sky.

If you think about it, relationships are a lot like gardens. Both require a sufficient amount of attention and care in order to thrive. However, just like changes in temperature or precipitation could potentially damage a garden, certain behaviors that emerge in a relationship could also be detrimental, causing partners to drift apart. Here are ten relationship-straining behaviors to avoid if you want to keep the spark between you and your loved one alive.

1. Ineffective communication.

A woman with blonde hair sits on a gray couch, looking pensive and resting her chin on her hands. A man with dark curly hair and wearing a green sweater sits slightly behind her, gazing at her with a concerned expression.

Healthy, effective communication is the foundation of any successful relationship. By being passive-aggressive to your partner, or by avoiding sharing your thoughts and feelings with them altogether, you create emotional distance, give rise to feelings of frustration and resentment, and make it difficult to feel emotionally connected to each other.

2. Neglecting quality time.

A woman sits with her eyes closed and hands on her temples, appearing stressed or tired. In the background, a man is slightly out of focus, looking at a laptop screen. The setting appears to be indoors with natural light coming from the window.

Let’s face it, life is a challenge at times. When personal priorities shift towards other aspects of our lives—like work or school—romantic relationships can take a back seat, despite our best intentions. This can foster feelings of loneliness and shift the relationship into a dynamic where you function more like roommates than partners.

3. Frequent criticism.

A man and a woman are having a serious conversation on a couch. The man, with a serious expression, is gesturing with his finger, while the woman is gesturing with her hands, appearing to explain or argue. A lamp and a textured white wall are in the background.

Has your partner become more judgmental of you over time? Maybe they are constantly nitpicking the way you dress, or they get overly annoyed with how you keep your space clean. This behavior can break down the criticized partner’s self-esteem, causing them to pull away because of feelings of inadequacy and underappreciation.

4. Ignoring emotional needs.

A woman with long blonde hair and a red top stands next to a man with short dark hair, a beard, and a gray t-shirt. The woman faces forward while the man looks off into the distance. Both are outdoors with lush green foliage in the background.

Everyone has different ways of processing emotions. Some people like to be left alone with their feelings, while others may prefer to be open about them with their loved ones. Dismissing or ignoring a partner’s feelings can create a rift where they feel unheard, or worse, like they are unable to trust you when they share their needs or concerns with you.

5. Inconsistent affection.

A woman sits on a bed looking contemplative, with her head resting on her hand. In the background, a man sits facing away, near a window with crossed arms. The room is softly lit by natural light.

Physical intimacy is not all there is to a romantic relationship, but it does play a crucial role in keeping couples emotionally connected. When one partner pulls away physically (reduced hugs and kisses, turning away from touch, and so on), it could signal disinterest to the other partner and make them feel like the one who is pulling away is not as committed to the relationship as they once were.

6. Failing to resolve conflicts.

A pensive woman with long hair stands in the foreground near the shore, her eyes closed and hand near her chest. A man with a beard, wearing a dark coat, stands in the background with crossed arms, looking out at the sea. The mood is somber and reflective.

Conflicts, no matter how big or small, are bound to emerge in any type of relationship. However, it is how people work together to solve them that distinguishes a mediocre partnership from a great one. Choosing to sweep disagreements under the rug instead of addressing them can cause resentment towards each other to brew, eventually resulting in emotional withdrawal and disconnection.

7. Taking each other for granted.

A man and woman sit apart on a couch, each facing away from the other with distant expressions. The room has a light, airy feel with a large window and green plants in the background. A round wooden table is in the foreground.

As time passes, it’s normal for romantic partners to get more comfortable with each other. But if you’re not careful, the excitement and appreciation felt for each other can fade. Not only will this cause you and your partner to get stuck in the dreaded “roommate phase,” it could create feelings of unfulfillment that risk you or your partner seeking connection elsewhere.

8. Lack of shared goals.

A man and woman walk outdoors with foliage in the background. The man, in a white shirt, has dark hair pulled back and a beard. The woman, in a white lace top, has long dark hair. The focus is on the woman’s profile, with the man slightly blurred in the background.

When you picture the next five years with your loved one, do you see yourself getting married or having kids? Everyone has different goals for their future, but if you and your partner don’t share similar goals, this is likely to become a major source of tension, making you and your partner feel like you’re living parallel lives rather than moving forward as a unit.

9. Relying too much on technology.

A woman with blonde hair, wearing a gray sweater, looks over at a man with brown hair, wearing a blue sweater. Both are sitting on a couch, each holding a smartphone. The woman appears puzzled or concerned as she glances toward the man, who is focused on his phone.

Staying connected with others is easier today, thanks to smartphones and social media. However, there is such a thing as too much of a good thing. When one person spends more time looking at a screen than physically engaging with their partner, it could make the other person feel undervalued and cause both of them to drift apart from each other over time.

10. Ignoring individual growth.

A man and woman stand by a waterfront, arm in arm, smiling at each other. The scene is partially obstructed by the out-of-focus frame and engine of a motorcycle in the foreground, creating a sense of depth and context.

Just because you are in a relationship doesn’t mean that you have to stop pursuing your personal interests or passion projects altogether. Personal growth is essential for the success of any relationship, especially romantic ones. Ignoring this would be cutting off an outlet for you and your partner to bond, leading to emotional distance in the long run.