12 Phrases Self-Assured People Use To Assert Their Boundaries

These are some choice words that will get your boundaries respected.

A woman with long brown hair and glasses is speaking passionately. She is wearing a gray blazer and white shirt, gesturing with one hand. Office chairs and a bright window are in the background, suggesting a professional setting.

Have you experienced situations in which you allowed other people to transgress your boundaries because you didn’t want to come across as rude? You can assert and defend your personal boundaries tactfully and with class by using some of the phrases listed here.

1. “I understand your perspective, but I have to disagree.”

Two women in business attire are engaged in a conversation in front of a gray textured wall. One gestures with open hands, while the other listens attentively, hand raised. Both appear focused and professional.

We can comprehend what another person may be thinking or feeling, and validate their view accordingly, without agreeing with them. In fact, we may vehemently disagree with them and think they’re terrible. In situations where tact needs to be used, however, a phrase like this goes a long way towards keeping the peace.

2. “That’s immensely kind of you, but I’m not interested, thanks.”

Two men are engaged in a conversation in a well-lit room with sunlight streaming through the window. One man wears a brown shirt, and the other wears a red checked shirt and glasses. People can be seen in the background blurry, possibly working or socializing.

You can use this to good effect if someone you know is attempting to proselytize and tell you all the wonderful things that their religion has to offer, or if they’re insisting that you try a bite of the horrifying dessert salad that they’ve concocted in your honor.

3. “I only share that kind of information with those closest to me.”

Two women are sitting at a wooden table in an office, engaged in a conversation. One woman is writing in a notebook with a pen while the other is speaking and gesturing with her hand. They both have laptops open in front of them and a cup of coffee nearby.

Some people seem to think it’s okay to ask the most intimate, personal questions of people whom they’ve just met. Saying something like this makes it abundantly clear that they’re out of order, without being rude or mean about it. It’s firm, but it establishes that they don’t have your permission to pry.

4. “If you continue to [do the boundaried action], I will have to end this conversation/leave.”

Three individuals are engaged in conversation outdoors. A woman gestures while speaking, and two men listen intently. They stand in front of tall, green trees, enjoying a bright day. One man holds a tablet in his hand.

If you’ve established a boundary with someone and they either say or do something that you’ve listed as forbidden, use a phrase like this to let them know that there will be consequences if they continue on this path. Make sure you’re prepared to follow through if they do so.

5. “As per our last discussion…”

Two businesswomen in professional attire, one in a navy suit and the other in a beige suit, are engaged in a conversation in a bright, modern office space. In the blurred background, two men are also conversing near a window with a city view.

This is a sharper, yet more professional way of asking “Did I stutter?” with regard to a boundary that was set during a prior exchange. This is particularly useful at work. For example, if you had previously informed an employer that you’re unavailable to work overtime, and they ask again.

6. “Not THESE five minutes.”

A woman in a sleeveless top sits at a table with a laptop in front of her, holding a pen. She appears engaged in a conversation with someone off-camera. The setting seems to be a bright, modern indoor space.

A lot of people will try to demand your time on their terms, and may tell you that they need you for “just five minutes”. To that, you can respond with yes, they may have five minutes of your time, but not THESE five minutes, right now. Be available, but not attainable on demand.

7. “Yes I heard you, but since I am not a dog, I determined that you couldn’t possibly be addressing me in that manner.”

A woman in an office stands near a desk, speaking into a megaphone. She is dressed in a black blazer, surrounded by a computer, pile of files, and office decor. Abstract artwork hangs in the background.

Use this one if someone is barking your name repeatedly from across a distance, trying to get your attention… or even worse, to call you over to them. A person who respects you will make a point of walking over to speak to you, not beckon you like a recalcitrant collie.

8. “I’m sorry, you must have misheard me—my name is X”

A man in a grey suit and tie, smiling, shakes hands with a woman in a dark blazer. They are standing in a modern office setting with large glass windows in the background. The man holds a piece of paper in his other hand.

This phrase is perfect to use when and if you introduce yourself by your given name and someone immediately calls you by a nickname of their choosing, such as shortening Elizabeth to “Liz”, or Charles to “Chucky”, and so on. Hold eye contact and enunciate your chosen moniker clearly when you say it.

9. “I won’t be doing any of that, but thank you so much!”

Two people are sitting in a cozy living room, engaged in conversation. One person holds a notebook and pen, while a coffee cup is on the table between them. They are both wearing checkered shirts, and there's a TV mounted on the wall.

A response like this—delivered in a bright and effervescent manner—is great for letting people know in no uncertain terms that their unsolicited advice was unwanted, and won’t be followed either. You’re remaining pleasant and polite while still firmly establishing your own sovereignty, and simultaneously pointing out that they were overstepping.

10. “If you recall, I have already answered this question.”

A woman and a man in business suits are standing outdoors and engaging in a conversation. The woman gestures with her hand while smiling. They appear to be in a modern urban setting with glass buildings in the background.

Some folks won’t take “no” for an answer, and will keep prodding at you with the same query until they get the response that they want. A phrase like this reminds them that their question has already been asked and answered, and you aren’t going to waste any time answering again.

11. “A person who did poorly on an assignment shouldn’t teach a class.”

An elderly woman and a younger woman are having a heated discussion in a living room. The younger woman touches her head in frustration, while a young girl sits on a couch in the background, observing the scene with a concerned expression.

If one of the boundaries you’re trying to assert involves stopping your parents from interfering with how you raise your own children, try using this phrase if they overstep them. It lets them know in no uncertain terms that you won’t be repeating the mistakes they made raising you, and their advice isn’t welcome.

12. “Your curiosity doesn’t supersede my privacy.”

A woman with short hair and a white turtleneck gestures with both hands, pointing her index fingers upwards. She is engaged in a conversation with a man whose back is to the camera. They are indoors with pillows in the background.

Many people overstep and ask inappropriate questions of others, believing that saying “I’m just curious” gives them leave to do so. If you’ve already told them once that you aren’t comfortable sharing that information with them, and they persist, use a phrase like this one, a bit more firmly. They should get the hint.