People who can’t move past these 12 experiences are severely limiting their lives

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Are any of these things weighing you down?

Close-up of a person with light blue-green eyes gazing directly at the camera. Their hands, with a simple ring, rest near their face, and they have light makeup with a soft expression. The background is blurred.

Are you ever upset by a sound, scent, item, or memory that reminds you of a painful past experience? That’s known as a “trigger”, and many people’s lives end up severely limited because they cling to these emotional anchors on a subconscious level. Those listed here are some of the most common ones that many people need to let go of, or they’ll end up having their lives—and their joy—severely limited.

1. Rejection.

A man smiling and offering a bouquet of flowers to a woman who appears uninterested or uncomfortable. They are seated at a table in a bright setting with a window view. The woman is leaning back with a skeptical expression.

People who are hypersensitive to rejection may refrain from any situation that might make them feel unwanted. This can limit their social, romantic, and professional lives significantly, as they may take something someone says out of context and assume that they’re being despised and rejected, when that couldn’t be further from the truth. They may also miss opportunities for positive outcomes because of the chance of them being rejected.

2. Betrayal.

A woman with long blonde hair wearing a beige top sits on a sofa with a pensive expression, resting her head on her hand. Behind her, a man with short hair and a beard, wearing a white t-shirt, sits turned away, seemingly deep in thought.

If someone has been badly betrayed by a person they trusted, they might decide to never trust anyone ever again. Alternatively, they’ll simply distrust those who remind them of the transgressor. This isn’t fair to those who happen to bear a resemblance to them, and may prevent everyone involved from cultivating healthy partnerships.

3. Loss of a loved one.

Close-up of a woman's face with a single tear rolling down her cheek. The image focuses on her expressive eyes with smeared eye makeup, reflecting an emotion of sadness or distress. The background is dark, highlighting her facial features.

Losing someone we love, whether human or non-human, can be one of the most painful experiences imaginable. Many people who have experienced great loss like this refrain from creating new emotional bonds so they never have to feel that pain again. Sadly, this keeps them from experiencing truly beautiful relationships due to fear of potential pain.

4. Illness or injury.

A person lying on a couch wearing a neck brace and a blue knee brace, dressed in a white t-shirt and gray shorts. Their legs are elevated on the arm of the couch, and they appear to be resting or asleep.

If someone gets severely ill on vacation, they may decide to never go on vacation again. Even if it was a fluke occurrence, they may convince themselves that the only way to prevent that from repeating is to stay home indefinitely. The same can happen if they are injured while swimming, dancing, camping, and so on.

5. Medical-related trauma.

A woman lying in a hospital bed with a nasal cannula and a monitor attached to her arm is talking to a male healthcare professional in scrubs, who is holding a clipboard and writing notes. The healthcare professional is wearing a mask.

Those who have been mistreated by healthcare professionals often shy away from receiving vital care due to the fear of experiencing that mistreatment again. This can prevent them from catching potential issues when they’re still small and manageable, rather than leaving them untreated until they become a much larger problem. The same can happen if someone experiences complications from a medical procedure.

6. Bad breakups.

A woman with short brown hair and a sad expression places her hand on the shoulder of a man, who is facing away from her. The man appears distant, and their body language suggests tension or emotional discomfort. The setting is indoors with a blurred background.

It’s very rare for a person to marry the first person they dated and live happily ever after. Breakups are difficult, especially if the break was caused by cheating, and can damage those involved quite badly. Their fear of being cheated on again (and subsequently splitting) may prevent them from ever dating again.

7. A food that’s associated with bullying or shaming.

People who were body-shamed in their youth—either by their family or by their peers—may associate certain foods with the cruelty they experienced. As a result, they may avoid eating anything in that food category for the rest of their lives so as to avoid re-experiencing that shame.

8. Bigotry or discrimination.

A young man in a white t-shirt sits alone with a thoughtful expression in a busy room. In the background, a group of three people are engaged in conversation, slightly out of focus. The room has a casual atmosphere with bookshelves and tables.

A person who has experienced discrimination in a particular scenario (such as a hobby or niche interest) might lose their love for it forever. This can cause intense depression, and keep them from enjoying some wonderful pastimes in life. Just because they experienced negativity with one group doesn’t mean it’ll happen with all of them.

9. Guilt about past actions.

A man with short hair and a beard, wearing a red shirt, looks directly at the camera with a thoughtful expression, resting his chin on his hand. The background is blurred but suggests an outdoor setting near a body of water.

Someone who feels immense guilt or shame because of a past transgression may avoid any scenario that reminds them of what they did wrong. If what they did is associated with something quite commonplace, they may end up agoraphobic in order to avoid being triggered by any potential whisper of it.

10. Criticism.

A young woman stands with her eyes closed, looking distressed, and her hand on her forehead. She is in focus and in the foreground. In the background, four young people are pointing at her and laughing. They are outside in a park or natural setting.

If, for example, someone was mocked in their youth for wearing something they loved, they may refuse to wear anything like it again so they never have to re-live that humiliation. This has the potential to severely limit their life choices, especially if the criticism involved something common that they now feel they have to avoid.

11. Trauma.

A woman with dark hair sits on a couch with her knees drawn up, hugging her knees and resting her head on her arms. She appears to be upset or in distress, wearing a light gray sweater and jeans. The background is softly lit.

Experiencing something traumatic can keep people from doing all kinds of things. For example, a person who witnessed a fatal subway accident may avoid ever taking a subway again in order to avoid being re-traumatized. Things like this can limit their lives significantly, especially if they want to travel to other countries.

12. Failure.

A middle-aged man with graying hair and a beard is looking pensively out of a window. He is wearing a light blue button-up shirt and appears deep in thought, with natural light illuminating one side of his face.

A person who fails at something important to them may choose to avoid risk in the future so as to never experience defeat again. This limits them from anything they don’t already know, as any new endeavor comes with the potential for failure. They simply end up stagnating due to their own fear.

About The Author

Catherine Winter is an herbalist, INTJ empath, narcissistic abuse survivor, and PTSD warrior currently based in Quebec's Laurentian mountains. In an informal role as confidant and guide, Catherine has helped countless people work through difficult times in their lives and relationships, including divorce, ageing and death journeys, grief, abuse, and trauma recovery, as they navigate their individual paths towards healing and personal peace.