If someone does these 18 subtle things, they've got a problem with you

It’s not always obvious when someone dislikes you.

A woman with long hair and a plaid shirt looks to the side with a thoughtful expression. She is outdoors, with blurred columns and greenery in the background.

Have you ever wondered if someone has a problem with you, but couldn’t quite pinpoint why? It’s not always obvious when someone dislikes you, especially when their behavior is subtle and hard to detect. Let’s uncover 18 under the radar signs that indicate someone might have an issue with you.

1. Schadenfreude is their middle name.

A woman with short dark hair, wearing a red sweater, sits on a couch holding a smartphone. She rests her head on one hand, looking stressed. The background shows a cozy room with shelves and plants.

This person will take great joy in your missteps or injuries. If you make a mistake or something happens that embarrasses you, they’ll absolutely delight in it. They’ll keep bringing it up forever, maybe make a little nickname for you about it.

So help you if they managed to catch anything on camera, because that’ll be plastered online for everyone to mock forever.

2. They try to cause issues for you.

Three people are engaged in a heated discussion indoors. A man on the left and a woman on the right are facing each other, while an older woman in the middle is trying to mediate, extending her arms toward both of them. The atmosphere is tense.

Siblings might lie about you to get you in trouble with your parents. Peers might make up stories about you to alienate you from other friends, or tell teachers that you’re cheating so you fail a test or get kicked out of class. In a work environment, they might tell your boss that you’re slacking on the job and not pulling your weight, or that you said or did something inappropriate.

Basically, they try muckraking by whatever means possible to either make your life uncomfortable, or get you out of the picture.

3. They intentionally overstep your boundaries.

A young man in a brown jacket stands behind an older man in a beige sweater using a walking cane. They are indoors with a neutral-toned background and a blurred painting.

Since they neither respect nor like you, they have absolutely no incentive to respect your personal boundaries.

For instance, you might make it perfectly clear that since you work from home, you’re not to be interrupted between the hours of 9am and 5pm. So they’ll show up at your place on the regular, expecting coffee and conversation.

If you’ve changed your name for any number of personal reasons, they’ll keep calling you by the previous one because “they know you by that title.” Little disrespectful oversteps are their way of testing you to see how much you’ll tolerate before you go incendiary.

4. They say or do things that they know make you uncomfortable or upset.

Two women sitting at a wooden table in a cafe, chatting. The woman in the foreground wears a striped top and a watch, while the one behind drinks from a glass. The setting is cozy, with shelves and warm lighting in the background.

You don’t like a particular type of music because of sensory processing issues, or because you have a negative association with it. Well, too bad. They’ll blast it in the car every time they have to give you a ride somewhere.

Are there topics that you’re sensitive to, that you’ve asked not to be brought up in your presence? Then you can be certain that they’ll keep mentioning them, even if they claim that they “forgot.” Afterward, they’ll offer you a false apology only to do it again the next time they see you.

5. They’ll argue with you constantly (even if you’re obviously in the right).

Two men in a bright office are having a discussion. One is holding a tablet, and they both look engaged in conversation. A clock and office furniture are visible in the background.

Basically, this is just arguing for its own sake. They might be perfectly aware that you’re right about a particular subject, but they just like to wind you up.

You could bring up all manner of proof and evidence that you’re right, and they’ll still play devil’s advocate. Ultimately, they’re feeding off your fury and taking great delight in upsetting you. If you’re faced with situations like this, just go gray rock and they’ll get bored and move on.

6. They are overly nice.

A young woman with long brown hair and wearing a blue sweater is smiling while listening attentively to an unseen person gesturing in the foreground. They are outdoors, with a calm, sunlit setting and buildings in the background.

That person who’s always being super nice to you might not actually be a nice person at all. They may be overcompensating because they actually dislike you but feel bad because they don’t have a valid reason for their dislike.

Or they’re doing nice things in order to distract you and get you out of the way as soon as possible.

7. They avoid physical contact with you as much as possible.

A woman with light-colored hair looks distressed while hugging another woman with dark hair. They stand outside near a building, and sunlight casts shadows around them.

You might go in for a hug only for them to offer a handshake from a couple of feet away. Or, you may lean in to kiss them and they dodge it deftly and offer a little shoulder pat instead.

If you lean in close to tell them something, they’ll move away in order to maintain a solid distance between you.

This is a natural response when someone dislikes another person or feels uncomfortable around them. You may have been closer with this person in the past, but if they’re putting real effort into keeping you at bay now, you can rest assured they’re not fond of you at all.

8. They constantly interrupt you.

Two men are in an office setting, engaged in a lively discussion. One wears a white hoodie while the other is in a plaid shirt. They are seated in front of computer monitors, gesturing expressively as they talk.

They’ll often feel like you don’t have anything of worth to say, so they’ll cut you off whenever you try to speak. Or they’re not interested in the topic you’re discussing, so they’ll talk over you and change the subject.

They don’t respect you at all, so they certainly aren’t going to give you the space and time to express yourself.

9. They break or throw away your belongings.

A person discards a partially eaten pink cake with white frosting into a red trash bin. The cake is on a white plate, and the person is using a fork to remove a slice. The scene is indoors, with part of a kitchen visible in the background.

This often happens in toxic family environments, but can also happen at school, work, etc. For example, your parents or partner might throw out or give away items of yours that they don’t like when you go away for a couple of days.

Colleagues might “accidentally” throw your lunch away, or break your favorite coffee mug. Similarly, peers may wreck your homework or your laptop so you get in trouble/fail at school.

10. They steal or try to get with your romantic partners.

A group of young adults socializing at a casual indoor gathering. A woman in the foreground, holding a drink, is laughing while interacting with a smiling man. Other people are engaged in conversation in the background. The atmosphere appears lively and cheerful.

There are few ways to damage someone as badly as trying to seduce their partner/spouse. If someone doesn’t like you, they may think that you don’t deserve your partner and will consider them fair game.

Furthermore, they may justify their behavior by telling themselves that they’re doing your partner a favor by “saving” them from you.

11. They don’t approve requests or add you back on any social media.

A woman in a white blouse sits at a wooden table in a dimly lit cafe, looking at her smartphone. There is a white bowl and a teapot on the table in front of her. The background features blurred lights and dark furniture.

This one is more common with the younger crowd, but it can apply to just about anyone. You might request to follow them on various social media channels, only to be restricted or blocked. Or, if they do deign to give you permission to follow them, they certainly won’t follow you back.

Any and all of your attempts to connect with them further online will be met with rejection, or outright hostility.

12. They steal from you.

A woman reaches into an open refrigerator, looking at a frosted donut in her hand. The fridge is visible, containing some jars and produce. The kitchen background includes hanging lights.

In addition to not respecting you, they might not feel that you deserve various things. As a result, they might take your stuff with the justification that you were “asking to be stolen from” because of your own behaviors. This expands upon the earlier sign about trying to seduce your partner or spouse.

A roommate who doesn’t like you much might raid your food cupboards, despite the fact that you’re low on cash. Money might go missing from your wallet or purse, and books and clothes might disappear when they’re around.

They might even steal opportunities from you, telling others that you’re not available but you’ll be happy to step in instead.

13. They hurt you for fun.

A woman looks distressed with her hand on her forehead, while a man laughs beside her. Both are seated at a table with coffee cups in a cozy café setting.

This could be emotionally or physically, but inevitably results in you feeling pain and them laughing about it. You might get slapped or pinched as you walk by, then told that you’re being dramatic or making a big deal out of nothing if you complain about it.

Maybe they’ll claim that they’re playfighting and hurt you quite severely. Or tell you something they know will traumatize you and then laugh when you start to cry or get seriously upset. Either way, their intention is to cause you pain.

14. They spread gossip and lies about you.

Two women are in a bright room; one with tied-back blonde hair is whispering to the other, who has long, dark hair. The woman being whispered to has a surprised expression, with her hand covering her mouth.

When people don’t like you, they’ll often spread gossip about you. Rather than lying about you outright, this is more a situation of telling others details about your life that you’d rather keep to yourself. Or at least, only among a close circle of those you trust.

Then of course those details will spread further and further in expanding social circles, doing hideous things for your reputation.

15. They take you for granted.

A woman in a casual outfit is vacuuming the floor with a yellow and silver vacuum cleaner in a living room. In the background, a man in a denim jacket and jeans is sitting on a light blue sofa, eating snacks and watching her. The room is modern and bright.

You might go above and beyond for this person, but they never reciprocate. Or they might simply expect that you do various things for them and never feel a need to thank you, nor show appreciation for it.

Partners in toxic relationships and children of narcissistic parents experience this one quite a bit. You being awesome is simply an expectation, rather than something to be grateful for.

16. They use you.

Close-up of one person handing a $100 bill to another person. The money is being exchanged against a light, blurred background. The person handing the money has a thumb and forefinger visible, while the recipient's hand is partially shown.

This often goes along with taking you for granted. You won’t hear from this person at all until they’re looking for volunteers to help them move. Or until they need a drive to the airport at 2am and hey, you have a car.

If you’re fairly well off financially, they’ll come to you when they need a loan but will never pay you back. Oh, and if you ever need help from them in turn, they won’t be available.

17. They try to control or dominate you.

A seated woman looks forward with a man standing behind her, covering her mouth with his hand. He places his other hand on her shoulder. The woman wears a gray top, and the man is dressed in a light gray shirt. The background is a textured gray wall.

Someone who doesn’t like you doesn’t give a damn about your own wants, preferences, and aversions. You’re merely a tool to use for their convenience and a nuisance to be dealt with.

As such, they may try to control aspects of your life so that your existence is more tolerable to them. You won’t have much personal autonomy, because then you might do or say things they don’t want to deal with. They just want you to do as you’re told, and then fade into the wallpaper so as not to annoy them.

18. You might as well not exist.

A person with dreadlocks sits alone at a table, looking at their phone. They seem disinterested in the surroundings. In the background, a group of people are engaged in conversation and laughter while drinking at another table.

There are few signs of dislike as intense as outright ignoring someone. When a person doesn’t feel seen, when it’s made clear that they might as well not even exist, it does terrible things to their overall sense of self-worth.

People who are the “black sheep” of the family often find themselves ignored and ostracized. Similarly, those who don’t quite fit in with peer dynamics are treated like social pariahs. They’re not merely excluded; they’re banished from even being acknowledged.

Finally…

Two women are sitting at a table in a café, holding coffee cups and engaged in conversation. One woman has blonde hair and a gray suit, while the other has brown hair and a dark blazer. The background features wooden walls and soft lighting.

If you’ve gone through this list and realized that people are showing you that they don’t like you very much, that may be a lot to process. Especially if you really like them and were hoping to cultivate more of a relationship with them.

In fact, you might find yourself wondering whether there’s something wrong with you.

There isn’t. You’re just you.

The truth is that we’re not going to like everyone we meet, nor will everyone like us either.

Signs like those mentioned here are great indicators of where not to put your energy. There are quite literally billions of other people out there, and you can shift your focus toward cultivating your own tribe with amazing people who grok you properly, rather than wasting time on those who don’t appreciate you.

You might not be everyone’s cup of tea, but you’re definitely someone’s whiskey-spiked root beer float.