The Next Time You're In A Toxic Situation, Use These 12 Exit Strategies

If you need to get out and away, try these exit strategies.

A person in casual clothing is running towards an open exit, with light streaming in and a cloud visible outside. The background is blue, adding contrast to the scene, suggesting escape or liberation.

It’s almost inevitable that you will find yourself in situations where the other person or the environment are toxic.

It might be with someone you know well—like a friend or partner—where events have caused tensions to run high, or toxic deeds have been committed.

It may also be a situation where a person you’ve only just met and can’t predict is acting in a way that makes you feel uneasy.

When faced with such circumstances, you can use one or more of these strategies to get out safely.

1. Set a boundary.

Person wearing brown leather shoes standing on a concrete surface just behind a red line, suggesting a boundary or finish line.

Boundaries are what keep you safe and healthy. If you are stuck in a toxic situation, you can firmly state your limits to make it clear why you are stepping away, and then step away. Learning to enforce a boundary is helpful because it helps build your self-confidence.

2. Use a polite excuse.

A woman with long brown hair looks over the rim of a white cup she is holding, appearing thoughtful. The blurred silhouette of another person is in the foreground, suggesting a conversation or shared moment.

A toxic situation may have the possibility to become violent. To avoid that, sometimes the best exit is to use a socially acceptable reason to excuse yourself, like needing to perform a task, take a break, or check on someone. This is a good option to avoid tempers if you’re concerned with them.

3. Make a silent departure.

A person in a blue shirt and dark pants opens a door while carrying a brown suitcase. The scene is well-lit with natural light coming through the open doorway, revealing some greenery outside.

There are times when tempers may be running high or the escalation seems inevitable. Sometimes it’s better to just make a silent exit, stepping away from the situation without saying anything or making a scene. It’s best to not turn your back on that kind of situation when you’re departing.

4. Feign distraction from the situation.

Close-up of a person using a smartphone. The individual is holding the phone in one hand and tapping the screen with the other. They are wearing a patterned shirt. The background is blurred, showing indistinct figures and colors.

Distraction is one way to avoid hostility and remove yourself from a toxic situation. Not only are you removing yourself from the situation, but you’re also pulling their train of thought away from the current situation. That could help prevent an escalation. Focus on another task, use your phone, or find a reason to step away to make it seem like you’re not invested in the situation.

5. Change the subject or tone of the conversation.

A man with glasses and a beard, dressed in a black cardigan and gray shirt, sits at a cafe table conversing with a woman who has short dark hair and is resting her chin on her hand. Two other people are blurred in the background, engaged in their own conversation.

Try to shift the conversation toward a neutral or positive topic to pave the way for a graceful exit from the situation. If you can redirect their thoughts to that new conversation, they will be less likely to escalate or get angry about trying to withdraw.

6. Enlist support from others.

Four young adults are outdoors near a body of water. One person in the foreground is wearing a red jacket and beanie, gesturing as they talk to the other three, who are standing and sitting, listening intently. Their clothing suggests a casual, cool weather setting.

In many cases, you will likely be among others who are similarly uncomfortable. If you can let them know you’re uncomfortable, you can make a group exit together, which makes conflict less likely. A person who is belligerent may not feel inclined to start up with multiple people. Plus, there is safety in numbers.

7. Own your feelings.

A woman with long brown hair in a blue sleeveless top stands in the foreground, looking pensive and slightly sad. Behind her, a man in a blue shirt and shorts is squatting on a wooden dock near a body of water, out of focus.

There are rowdy situations where other people may be comfortable where you are not. If you are among friends, then owning your feelings may be the right option. Tell them how the current situation is making you feel, and then step away.

8. Agree to disagree, then exit.

A man and a woman are sitting and having a serious conversation on a gray sofa. The man, wearing a white shirt and tie, is listening intently with his hand on his chin. The woman, wearing glasses and a striped shirt, is gesturing with her hand while speaking.

In many cases, arguing doesn’t serve any great purpose. Many people are set in their beliefs and aren’t looking to have them changed. If you feel that you’re in that situation, you can just agree to disagree and step away. However, if you feel you’re unsafe, then agreeing and stepping away may be the better choice.

9. Call for backup.

Three young men are standing and talking on a city street with various people walking in the background. The man in the middle is wearing a gray checked shirt, the one on the left is in a dark blue shirt, and the person on the right is in a light blue shirt.

It’s helpful to bring other people in or use them as an exit so you don’t feel alone. Call for help, pretend to call for help, or act like you need to meet with someone to create space for an exit. Actually calling for help may be the best choice if you feel unsafe or overwhelmed.

10. Move away from the situation.

A person grips a red metal bar, opening a black lever handle on a door. The scene is indoors, highlighting the hand's action on the door mechanism, suggesting the door is being pushed or secured.

Try to move away from the situation. Physically leaving is often a better choice than trying to talk your way through it or out of it. Talking invites more interaction. Sometimes all you need to do is step away. However, if you are in an unsafe situation, don’t turn your back to it.

11. Use humor or lightness to defuse tension.

A well-landed joke or witty comment can defuse tension enough that you can walk away without any issues. A common, effective way to do that is with a self-deprecating joke. Avoid joking about the other people involved as that could be interpreted as disrespect and escalate the situation.

12. Set up an “emergency” call.

Close-up of a person's hands using a smartphone at night, with blurred city lights in the background. The bright bokeh effect creates a vibrant atmosphere.

It’s a good idea to have a code set up with someone who can call or text you when you indicate that you need it. That gives you a convenient reason to step away from a situation to create the space that you need to be safe. This is a common technique that women use to stay safe on dates or at parties because it works.