Men who lack integrity and can't be trusted often display these 12 behaviors

Integrity is lacking in men who do these things.

A man with short dark hair and a beard wears a denim jacket in an outdoor setting with green trees in the background. He looks intently at the camera.

It usually takes a fair amount of time to determine whether someone has integrity or not, because you have to observe their actions and words over a prolonged period. Keep an eye out for these 12 behaviors in men, as they’re solid indicators that integrity is seriously lacking.

1. They proclaim their integrity loudly, and often.

A man with glasses, dark hair, and a beard wears a black suit and a white shirt. He is gesturing with both hands against a dark background, appearing to be speaking or presenting.

If somebody embodies a particular trait, they don’t feel a need to broadcast it: their behaviors and actions will speak for themselves. Watch out for men who put phrases like “honest and trustworthy” in their online bios, as that invariably indicates that the opposite is true.

2. Their actions don’t match their words.

A man in a blue plaid shirt gazes thoughtfully out of a window. His right arm is raised, with his hand resting on his forehead. The background is softly blurred, suggesting an indoor setting.

It’s great that they “meant” to do something, but that isn’t the same as actually showing up and doing it, is it? A lot of people over-commit and under-deliver, which paints them as flaky and unreliable. A man with integrity will keep the commitments he’s made, to the best of his ability.

3. They have double standards.

A woman and a man are sitting at a cafe table with cups of coffee and a dessert. The woman looks concerned, resting her chin on her hand, while the man is talking and gesturing with his hands. The background features warm, hanging lights and wooden decor.

One huge red flag that someone is lacking integrity is having double standards, especially between genders or cultural backgrounds. For example, there may be something that would be “dealbreaker” behavior if their girlfriend or wife did it, but it’s fine for them to do whenever they like.

4. They weaponize limitations or incompetence to manipulate situations to their benefit.

A woman kneels on the floor with cleaning supplies and looks at a man lying on a couch using his phone. She wears an apron and rubber gloves, holding a cloth. The man seems relaxed while the woman is engaged in cleaning tasks. Various cleaning products are nearby.

They may never be able to help with the housework because of their bad back or knee, but those issues magically disappear when they have an opportunity to go to an event with the boys. Alternatively, they may intentionally mess something up so badly that they’re never asked to do it again.

5. They boast about how they’ve screwed people over.

Two men having a conversation in an office. One is seated, wearing glasses, a blue blazer, and holding a smartphone. The other is standing, wearing a white turtleneck and resting his arm on the back of the chair, looking at the seated man.

You wouldn’t respect a grown man who boasted about beating up a kid and taking their candy, would you? This behavior implies a massive lack of integrity, and is even more despicable if they imply that the person they screwed over was “asking for it”—like that justifies their behavior.

6. “Not gonna lie to you…”

A man with dark hair, wearing a light blue denim shirt, is engaged in a conversation with a woman whose back is to the camera. The man rests his head on his hand and looks attentively at the woman in a casual indoor setting.

Immediately distrust anyone who begins a sentence with this phrase. If they were honest and had any integrity at all, they wouldn’t feel the need to pre-empt what they were about to say with this disclaimer. It’s right along the lines of saying “I’m not racist, but…” before saying something bigoted.

7. They change their principles based on the social group they’re in.

Two men in dress shirts sit at a bar counter. One faces the camera with a smile and gesturing hands, while the other, seen from behind, holds a glass of beer. Bottles are visible on the shelf in the background.

Dudebro might express his fervently held beliefs about something when out for drinks with colleagues, but then espouses the complete opposite when shooting pool with his mates. In a case like this, his principles are either as changeable as the weather, or he’s spineless and pandering to whoever’s within earshot.

8. They’re quick to make promises, but always have excuses to renege on them.

A person wearing a black leather jacket and a black shirt stands against a plain background, shrugging with both hands raised and a slight smile, conveying a sense of uncertainty or indifference.

A lot of men who lack integrity are “people pleasers” in an attempt to be thought of well, whether it’s with new friends, work responsibilities, or in a dating scenario. The absence of integrity is all too apparent when it’s time to show up for what they’ve promised. Somehow, there’s always an excuse as to why they can’t.

9. They refuse any accountability.

A man with short brown hair is smiling widely and pointing upwards with his right index finger. He is wearing a blue button-up shirt and standing against a plain white background.

Men who lack integrity will shift blame and refuse to acknowledge when they know that they’ve done wrong. Additionally, they’ll often use scare and bully tactics to avoid accountability, particularly towards those who are smaller and weaker than they are, like children or more petite female partners.

10. They badmouth whoever is absent from the social circle.

Two men are sitting across from each other at a long wooden table in a modern office with cityscape windows. They appear to be having a serious conversation. One man is gesturing with his hands, while the other listens attentively.

They’re always the ones to initiate slander against whoever’s absent from the social gathering. This type of childish behavior may be understandable from a young teenager, but trustworthy men with solid integrity would never trash-talk an acquaintance who isn’t around and thus can’t defend themselves accordingly.

11. They lack determination.

A man sits on a couch holding a remote control, resting his chin on his hand, looking bored. He wears a gray and white long-sleeve shirt, with a green bottle on the table in front of him, and a white brick wall in the background.

Even if their intention and moral compass is pointing in the right direction, they lack the resolve to see anything through. As they never finish anything, it’s impossible to trust their word. Basically, a person’s word only has merit if they keep it, and that takes determination many people lack.

12. Things go missing around them.

A woman lying on the floor peeks under a sofa, looking concerned or searching for something. She is wearing a casual outfit and is partially visible behind the sofa, with her hand reaching underneath.

This one may be glaringly obvious, but if things keep disappearing when these guys are around, then it’s likely because they’re stealing them. If they’re called out on it, they may claim that they just borrowed said item and didn’t think it was a big deal, but if it wasn’t, they would have asked first, wouldn’t they?