11 Phrases That Indicate Someone Is Only Pretending To Like You

These words suggest someone might not like you as much as you think.

Two women sit at an outdoor table with large ceramic mugs. One woman with red hair wears a plaid shirt, and the other with blonde hair wears a dark top. They are engaged in conversation, with a forest backdrop and large metal wheel structure behind them.

Navigating social interactions can be tricky, especially when deciphering genuine connections from superficial ones. While some people wear their hearts on their sleeves, others masterfully conceal their true feelings behind a facade of politeness. Recognizing the subtle cues that betray insincerity can save you from investing time and energy in one-sided relationships. Let’s explore eleven phrases that might indicate someone is merely pretending to like you.

1. “I really like your…”

Two women with long hair sit at an outdoor cafe table, smiling and holding white mugs. One wears a navy blue top, and the other has a white top. There are blurred city buildings in the background with a sunlit ambiance.

Compliments are wonderful when sincere, but excessive praise focused solely on your appearance can ring hollow. Someone genuinely interested in you will appreciate your personality, accomplishments, and character traits—not just your physical attributes.

When a person constantly highlights superficial aspects of your being, it might be a sign they’re struggling to find deeper qualities to admire. Authentic connections involve recognizing and valuing the whole person, not just their outward appearance.

Moreover, if these compliments feel forced or lack genuine enthusiasm, they could be attempts to maintain a facade of friendliness without truly connecting with you on a meaningful level.

2. “We should definitely meet up soon.”

A man in a suit and tie, wearing glasses, is smiling while holding a coffee cup outdoors. He is engaged in conversation with another person out of focus in the foreground. The background shows an urban setting with a modern building.

Ah, the classic non-committal suggestion of future plans. While it sounds promising on the surface, this phrase often serves as a convenient way to maintain the illusion of friendship without any real intention of following through.

Genuine friends make concrete plans and follow up on them. They don’t leave things hanging in the nebulous realm of “soon.” If you find yourself constantly hearing this phrase without any actual meetups materializing, it might be time to reassess the relationship.

3. “It was just a joke!”

Two women stand outside, engaged in a conversation. One is wearing a white blazer, while the other is in a turquoise blazer. Both have expressive gestures and are smiling. The background shows a blurred building with a dome.

Humor can be a double-edged sword in relationships. While shared laughter can strengthen bonds, mean-spirited jokes often reveal underlying negative feelings. When someone consistently makes hurtful comments and then dismisses them as “just jokes,” they’re likely hiding their true opinions behind a thin veil of humor.

This phrase becomes particularly problematic when used repeatedly to deflect responsibility for causing offense. It’s a classic tactic of those who want to express their genuine (negative) thoughts while maintaining plausible deniability.

4. “I didn’t think you’d want to come.”

A woman with long brown hair, wearing a denim top, sits on a sofa, gesturing with open hands while talking to another woman with blonde hair in a striped shirt. They are in a cozy living room with a lamp, framed pictures, and a plant in the background.

This seemingly innocuous statement often masks a deliberate choice to exclude you. It’s a convenient excuse that shifts the blame onto you, implying that your perceived lack of interest is the reason for your exclusion.

In reality, someone who genuinely likes you would typically extend an invitation and let you decide for yourself whether you want to attend. Assuming your preferences without asking is often a sign of disinterest or, worse, active avoidance.

5. “That’s really interesting.”

Two women in coats are sitting on steps in conversation. One has a red knit hat and gestures with her hand, while the other holds a coffee cup and listens attentively. Wooden doors are visible in the background.

On the surface, this phrase seems positive. However, when uttered without follow-up questions or genuine engagement, it often serves as a polite way to end a conversation topic. It’s the verbal equivalent of nodding and smiling while your mind wanders elsewhere.

Someone who is truly interested in what you’re saying will ask questions, share related experiences, or offer thoughtful responses. They’ll show curiosity about your thoughts and opinions, not just provide a generic acknowledgment.

6. “Congratulations.”

Two men arm wrestling outdoors, smiling as they compete with a blurred background. One is wearing a white shirt, the other a tank top. The scene conveys a friendly and energetic atmosphere.

The power of this word lies not in its literal meaning, but in how it’s delivered. A heartfelt “congratulations” can make you feel on top of the world. However, when uttered flatly, without enthusiasm or genuine happiness for your success, it can feel like a slap in the face.

Pay attention to the tone, facial expression, and body language accompanying this word. Does the person seem genuinely happy for you, or are they merely going through the motions? True friends celebrate your victories as if they were their own.

If you consistently receive lukewarm responses to your achievements, it might be a sign that the person isn’t as invested in your happiness and success as they claim to be.

7. “If you need me, just let me know.”

Two women sitting and chatting at an outdoor café with a canal and buildings in the background. One woman, wearing a hat, holds a coffee cup while the other woman, wearing a patterned scarf, looks at her while speaking.

This phrase can be a genuine offer of support or a hollow promise, depending on the follow-through. Someone who truly cares will not only offer help but also be available when you actually need it.

Watch out for those who make this offer but always have an excuse when you take them up on it. It’s easy to say the right words, but actions reveal true intentions. A pattern of unfulfilled offers of assistance can indicate that the person is more interested in appearing supportive than actually being there for you.

8. “Remind me…”

A woman with long hair, wearing a black top, is engaged in a conversation with another person across a table. A cup is in front of her. The background is a blurred indoor setting.

Memory is fallible, and we all forget things occasionally. However, if someone consistently needs reminders about important aspects of your life—your job, your family situation, your goals—it might indicate a lack of genuine interest.

People tend to remember what’s important to them. If someone who claims to care about you can’t seem to retain basic information about your life, it could be a sign that they’re not really paying attention or investing in the relationship.

While occasional forgetfulness is normal, a pattern of needing constant reminders about significant details of your life might suggest that you’re not as high on their priority list as they’d have you believe.

9. “Uh-huh.”

Two women are seated at a desk in an office, engaged in conversation. One, wearing a light blue shirt, is gesturing with her hand. The other, in an orange blouse and glasses, listens attentively. A laptop and two striped mugs are on the desk in front of them. Blinds cover the windows behind them.

This seemingly innocuous utterance can be a telltale sign of disengagement. While it’s meant to signal active listening, a stream of “uh-huhs” without any substantive responses often indicates that the person is merely pretending to pay attention.

Genuine listening involves engagement—asking questions, offering relevant comments, or sharing related experiences. It’s an active process, not a passive one. If you find yourself consistently met with nothing but “uh-huhs” or similar non-committal sounds, it might be time to reassess the level of interest in the conversation.

10. “I’ve just been so busy lately.”

Two women in business attire are engaged in a conversation in front of a gray textured wall. One gestures with open hands, while the other listens attentively, hand raised. Both appear focused and professional.

Life gets hectic, and there are times when we all struggle to balance our commitments. However, when “being busy” becomes a perpetual excuse for not spending time with you, it’s worth taking a closer look.

People make time for what they prioritize. If someone consistently can’t find time to connect with you, it might indicate that you’re not high on their list of priorities. True friends will make an effort to stay in touch, even during busy periods.

Consider the context and frequency of this excuse. Is it a temporary situation, or a chronic issue? Do they make efforts to reschedule, or simply leave things hanging? The answers can reveal a lot about the true nature of the relationship.

11. “I’m just looking out for you.”

Two women sitting on a white bench outdoors. One, in a red blouse, gestures while speaking to the other, who is in a white blouse. They seem engaged in conversation with green shrubs in the background.

At first glance, this phrase seems caring and protective. However, it can also be a smokescreen for criticism or controlling behavior. When used repeatedly to justify negative comments or actions, it becomes a form of emotional manipulation.

Genuine concern for your well-being should feel supportive, not judgmental or restrictive. If someone frequently uses this phrase to defend behavior that makes you uncomfortable or unhappy, they might be more interested in controlling you than truly looking out for your best interests.

Pay attention to how you feel after hearing this phrase. Does it leave you feeling cared for, or criticized? The emotional impact can reveal the true intentions behind the words.