If you refuse to take your stress out on others, it shows you have these 12 character traits

Do you find other outlets for your stress?

A man sits cross-legged on the floor, meditating amidst colorful toy blocks. Two children play energetically in the background, one on a rocking horse. The living room is light and modern, with a dark sofa and kitchen space visible.

Some people take their anger out on those around them when they’re feeling stressed or upset, while others channel those feelings in a more productive manner. The character traits listed here are shared by those who don’t use other people as their emotional punching bags.

1. Self-awareness.

A woman with light hair pulled back looks directly at the camera. She has clear skin and blue eyes. The background is blurred with hints of greenery.

When a person is self-aware, they understand what they’re feeling as well as the contributing factors that led to their emotional state. Children who don’t understand cause and effect will cry and scream because they’re running on pure emotion, whereas self-aware adults are fully cognizant of why they feel the way they do.

2. Restraint.

A side profile of a man with a beard wearing a red beanie and a dark jacket. He stands outdoors with his eyes closed and appears calm and peaceful. The background is blurred, showcasing a cloudy sky.

Just because we have an urge to do something doesn’t mean we have to follow through with it. Acting on impulse has gotten a lot of people into situations they can’t extricate themselves from. As such, the ability to show restraint when you’re feeling stressed is a character trait that’s worthy of respect.

3. Objectivity.

A man with a beard and short hair is leaning against a wall on a city street. He is wearing a light pink T-shirt and looking thoughtfully into the distance. The background is blurred, with cars and buildings in soft focus.

To be objective means that you can recognize the truth of a situation without emotional influence or interference. If you’re feeling stressed, you can recognize exactly where the stress is coming from and direct your frustrations accordingly, instead of lashing out at others for a stress that they didn’t contribute to.

4. Rationality.

A person with long blonde hair sits indoors, looking thoughtfully out of a window. They are wearing a light blue blazer and have their hands clasped under their chin. The background features a decorative wall and green plants.

Why would you take your stress out on someone who didn’t cause it? That would be ridiculous. You wouldn’t yell at the dog if the toaster burned your breakfast, would you? Rationality goes along with objectivity with regard to recognizing the sources of stress and channeling emotions in a logical, productive manner.

5. Stoicism.

A man with short dark hair and a slight beard gazes into the distance. He is wearing a light blue sweater, standing against a soft, blurred background that hints at a serene, overcast sky.

Just because you feel something doesn’t mean you need to allow it to affect you or govern your behavior. If you’re a stoic person, you can feel that stress is present without succumbing to it (or urges related to it), the same way you might feel a bit cold and not go running for a blanket.

6. Reservation.

Black and white close-up of a woman with long hair looking out of a window. Her face is in profile, appearing thoughtful or contemplative. The background is blurred, giving a soft-focus effect to the overall image.

When someone is reserved, not only do they keep most of their thoughts and feelings to themselves—they also think things through carefully before taking any action. Even if you feel the urge to snap at someone when stressed, you may consider the consequences of doing so, and therefore refrain.

7. Integrity.

A close-up of an elderly man with short gray hair and a mustache, wearing an orange button-up shirt. The man has a gentle smile and is looking directly at the camera. The background is plain and softly lit.

A person with integrity will hold to their morals and principles as fiercely as they can, and this includes protecting those they care about from their own potentially destructive emotions. Behaving honorably and with self-respect will always take precedence over blowing off steam to others’ detriment.

8. Love.

A smiling man and woman sit closely, holding hands and looking at each other affectionately. The woman is wearing an orange off-shoulder top and jeans, while the man is in a maroon t-shirt and jeans. They are sitting on a cozy couch in a warmly lit room.

If you love someone, then you make a point of caring for them, treating them decently, and protecting them from harm. As such, when stress threatens to overwhelm you, you’ll communicate with them about what you’re feeling and work through it with them, rather than unleashing it at them.

9. Compassion (including self-compassion).

A man sits beside a woman on a brown leather couch, gently placing his hand on her shoulder in a comforting manner. The woman looks pensive, staring ahead, dressed in a polka dot dress. The scene is set in a cozy room with a wooden background.

People have enough hardships without us adding to them. As such, if you feel real compassion towards a person, you won’t contribute to their troubles by unloading your own. Additionally, the compassion you feel towards people extends to yourself, so you’re self-supportive about your feelings instead of admonishing yourself for them.

10. Basic decency.

A young man with short hair and wearing a red shirt is sitting on a park bench, smiling at the camera. The background features green trees and grass, indicating a sunny day in the park.

When you think of the traits associated with decent people, you’re unlikely to find “uses others as stress relief toys” listed among them. As such, if you’re in a lot of distress due to issues that feel overwhelming, and you refuse to take it out on others, it’s an extraordinary mark of good character.

11. Self-discipline.

A person with short, light hair and a beard stands outdoors with eyes closed, appearing peaceful. The individual is wearing a light-colored, striped shirt and is surrounded by lush, green foliage. Soft sunlight filters through the trees in the background.

Those with great self-discipline hold themselves to codes of behavior regarding what is and is not acceptable to themselves. Taking stress out on other people would fall into your list of unacceptable behavior because it’s the wrong thing to do, and it would cause you to lose respect for yourself.

12. Transfiguration.

A man in a blue tank top is lifting a large tire in a gym. He appears focused and determined. There are exercise balls and other gym equipment in the background. The floor is polished concrete.

A few rare people have the ability to take challenging emotions and transform them into something positive. This might involve using those emotions as impetus for change, or as life lessons. If you have the ability to take your stress and use it as a force for good, you’re a rare gem indeed.