These all point to a severe case of emotional suppression.
Sometimes, the biggest secrets we keep are the ones we’re hiding from ourselves—especially with our emotions. You might think you’re open about your feelings, but you’re not really. Here are some common behaviors that show you might be holding back more than you let on.
1. You think a lot, but not about your feelings.
Do you find that your mind is almost always engaged in some thought or another? That you analyze everything, that your mind wanders to often random topics, that you rehearse conversations you may never actually have? These are all ways to keep yourself occupied so that you can’t think about how you actually feel. Essentially, overthinking becomes a buffer against the discomfort of raw emotions.
2. You’re always busy.
Constantly keeping yourself busy can sometimes be a subconscious tactic to avoid quiet moments. After all, it’s in those moments when your real feelings might just spill out. If you’re constantly finding new tasks to deal with, you might be running from more than just boredom—you’re trying to run away from any emotional introspection.
3. You joke instead of talking.
Sure, laughter is the best medicine—unless you’re using it to change the subject every time someone tries to have a serious conversation. Being quick to crack a joke whenever things get serious is a sign that you’re masking feelings that are itching to break free. Constant jokes are a form of deflection. It’s a defense mechanism to keep potentially painful conversations at bay.
4. You’re a “yes” person.
Agreeing with everything can make life seem easier, but if you’re doing it all the time, you might be swallowing your true feelings. Why? Because you want to avoid rocking the boat. Continually saying yes can stifle your genuine reactions. Eventually, it’ll just lead to a build-up of unexpressed emotions—and one day, you’re going to explode.
5. You’re a perfectionist.
Striving for perfection might actually be a way for you to control how you’re perceived. You’re hoping that you won’t have to deal with the messy, imperfect reactions—like criticism—that can trigger emotional responses. And you’re not ready to handle those! Constantly trying to seem perfect keeps you in a safe zone—far away from the unpredictability of real emotional engagement.
6. You keep to yourself.
Pulling away from people might seem like a good way to protect yourself. Unfortunately, too much isolation can be a clear sign you’re hiding from the emotional exchanges that are part of being human. It feels a lot safer to avoid connections—at least then, you don’t have to risk the vulnerabilities that these moments expose to the world.
7. You engage in too many vices.
Sometimes, reaching for a drink or binge-watching a series isn’t just a way to relax but rather an attempt to numb out the tough stuff. If your downtime is always dialed up to 11, maybe it’s time to ask yourself what you’re tuning out. These are mere distractions. They work as a temporary relief from emotional pain or stress, but they do nothing to address them.
8. You’re always proving yourself.
Feeling like you constantly have to prove your worth can be exhausting. It might come from a fear of not being enough, and that fear can keep you from facing bigger insecurities or emotions. Essentially, you’re struggling with self-acceptance—so you’ll do what you can to avoid it.
9 You don’t talk about your feelings.
Of course, it’s okay to feel uncomfortable sometimes when talking about how you feel. But it shouldn’t be all the time. Being unable to start conversations about it could be because you’re keeping your emotions on a very tight leash. What’s stopping you from opening up? Being so reluctant stops you from forming stronger connections with others—and even with yourself.
10. You’re a control freak.
Having too much control over your life is also a red flag. In fact, it could be a subtle hint you’re trying to manage an internal emotional whirlwind. It feels too chaotic to confront directly, so you’d rather do it another way. Just think of being over-controlling as a way of imposing order on a world that feels too unpredictable.
11. You refuse help.
Are you always declining help, even when you’re swamped or sinking? That’s not as brave as you might think it is. In fact, it might show you’re avoiding true vulnerability. You’re trying to keep others (and their potential emotional support) at bay, which will only ever lead to you feeling more isolated. You’re missing out on an opportunity for emotional relief.
12. You’re in a lot of pain.
Are you feeling some unexplained aches and pains? Suddenly getting a lot of headaches? It’s not without reason. Sometimes, the body keeps score when your mind is trying to ignore the emotional playbook. These physical symptoms are your body’s way of signaling unresolved emotional issues. And honestly, it’s probably about time that you listen to what it’s saying.
