Why do some people keep missing out on opportunities?
There are opportunities, big and small, all around us. It would be physically impossible for us to take advantage of every single opportunity that comes our way. A major reason we miss out on some opportunities is simply that we take them for granted and fail to recognize them when they appear.
We assume the opportunity will continue to be available and we’ll always have a chance to take advantage of it. Those types of opportunities—such as spending time with loved ones—we tend to miss once they’re gone.
And once they’re gone, they’re gone forever.
There are various other reasons why we miss out on opportunities that come our way. Some of those reasons include the following:
1. They are afraid.
The fear of failure or success keeps us paralyzed in indecision. When an opportunity comes our way, we may recognize it for what it is, but fear how it will change our status quo.
We’re afraid if we take advantage of the opportunity, we’ll fall flat on our faces in failure. Our fragile egos can’t handle that possibility, so we let the opportunity slide through our fingers, and we fail anyway through our own inaction. We assume it’s better for things to stay the same than to risk it all and end up looking like a fool.
We’re afraid that we’ll be a success and more will be expected of us. People will start demanding more from us and overwhelm us with their expectations. As their expectations rise, so will the pressure on us to do and be better. We’re terrified that everyone will discover that we’re imposters just pretending we know what we’re doing; when in reality, we have no clue.
Or the opportunity is pushing us past what we perceive are the limitations of our skills and/or intelligence. If we take advantage of the opportunity, we’d just be winging it. We may be lucky for a little while, but eventually, someone is going to discover we’re not as smart as we pretend to be and we have no idea what we’re doing.
It’s better to save ourselves all that shame and disgrace by staying put. Fear, time and again, causes us to miss out on new experiences and opportunities, leaving us yearning for unfulfilled goals and aspirations.
2. They procrastinate.
Procrastination can be the result of fears that have been left to run amok in our minds. These fears keep us locked in inaction and putting off work until the opportunity disappears, which researchers describe as a type of self-regulatory failure. Procrastination can also be the result of bad work habits or an inability to prioritize tasks properly.
Poor work habits cause us to sleep, scroll through social media, or do some other mindless activity when we should be working on our goals or doing something productive.
The inability to properly prioritize tasks will have us checking our emails rather than working on the end-of-month report or doing some low-value task instead of working on a high-value one.
When we procrastinate, we put off taking advantage of opportunities until we completely miss out on them.
3. They say yes to the unimportant.
Some of us are people pleasers. We feel the need to say “yes” to every request, no matter how inconvenient.
When our colleague asks us for help in the office, we’re quick to assist, even if it means staying late to finish our own work. If a family member asks for a loan we know they will not pay back, we give it to them with little thought to how it will impact our ability to pay our bills at the end of the month.
We say yes to requests that negatively impact our ability to do what is truly important to us. Our saying yes to the unimportant forces us to say no to the important. This inevitably leads to us missing out on important opportunities that our busy schedules simply don’t have room for.
4. They don’t recognize the opportunity.
Opportunities sometimes come in packages that are hard to recognize. For example, perhaps your boss asks you to do a special assignment that’s outside the scope of your duties.
It will take extra time, energy, and effort. Instead of seeing it as an opportunity to demonstrate that you’re ready for a bigger role in the organization, you passive-aggressively delay working on it or reject it completely. “It’s not your job,” you think to yourself.
Your boss gives the project to another colleague, who decides to knock it out of the park. “Suddenly” this colleague starts getting assigned better projects, working with high-profile clients, and hobnobbing with executives.
When promotion time comes along, guess who will be celebrating their new role?
5. They’re not prepared.
Opportunity only comes to those who are prepared to take advantage of it. But we sometimes don’t have the knowledge, skills, or emotional intelligence to seize the opportunities that come our way.
For example, let’s say our crush is single and ready to mingle. We’ve been interested in them for a while and are hoping for a chance to ask them out. But we don’t have the social skills or confidence needed to ask them out, or we lack the emotional intelligence for a mature relationship. These skill deficits would only ensure that we miss our chance to be with our crush.
Missing out on opportunities is rarely the result of being unlucky. If you were to examine the opportunities that have passed you by, you might realize the reason you missed out is due to one of the reasons above.
Until you’re able to deal with the fundamental reason(s) you miss out on opportunities, you will probably continue to do so.
While there is little to nothing you can do about the opportunities you’ve already missed, you can take steps to heal from the regret of those missed opportunities.
There is no reason for you to let the pain of regret cripple you. Rather, use it to propel you forward.
6. They lack self-awareness.
Sometimes, we miss opportunities because we lack self-awareness. We fail to recognize our own strengths, weaknesses, and potential. This blindness to our capabilities can lead us to overlook opportunities that are perfectly suited for us.
For instance, a talented writer might pass up the chance to contribute to a popular blog because they don’t believe their work is good enough. Or a natural leader might shy away from taking charge of a project, unaware of their innate ability to inspire and guide others.
Without a clear understanding of who we are and what we’re capable of, we may let golden opportunities slip through our fingers, never realizing how well-suited we were for them in the first place.
7. They’re too comfortable.
Comfort can be a silent killer of opportunity. When we’re content with our current situation, we may resist change, even if it could lead to something better. The familiar, no matter how mediocre, often feels safer than the unknown.
We might stay in a job that doesn’t challenge us because it pays the bills and offers stability. Or we might remain in a relationship that’s merely “okay” because we fear being alone. This comfort zone becomes a cage, preventing us from reaching out and grasping new opportunities.
By choosing the comfort of the known over the potential of the unknown, we inadvertently close ourselves off to exciting possibilities and personal growth.
8. They have a fixed mindset.
A fixed mindset can be a significant barrier to seizing opportunities. People with this mindset believe their abilities and intelligence are static traits that can’t be developed. They see challenges as threats to their perceived competence rather than chances to learn and grow.
When an opportunity arises that requires them to stretch beyond their current abilities, they may shy away, believing they’re not “naturally” suited for it. They might think, “I’m not a public speaker,” and decline an invitation to present at a conference, missing out on valuable exposure and networking. Dr. Carol S. Dweck, world renowned Stanford University psychologist, warned against this is her book “Mindset: The New Psychology of Success.”
This rigid thinking limits their potential and causes them to miss out on opportunities that could have led to significant personal and professional development.
