Chronically angry people do these things a lot.
Anger isn’t a nice emotion for anyone. Most people who feel it don’t enjoy it and even regret it after the fact. And as for those who have to deal with anger in someone else, it can be an anxiety-inducing experience that is extremely draining. That’s why it’s helpful to know the signs of deeper anger issues in someone—you can prepare yourself for it, or even avoid the person entirely.
1. They are constantly irritable.
Irritable is an understated word that encompasses a wide degree of behavior. In the context of anger, it can range from consistent, mild anger and frustration to rage-fueled outbursts. Those negative feelings keep a person amped up constantly, so they may react with annoyance or irritability to benign situations.
Another factor that may be at work is anxiety. Anxiety may manifest as agitation and anger because the brain is in a constant state of amplified discomfort. As a result, the person has less tolerance and may seem anxious, controlling, or angry.
2. They exhibit passive-aggressive behavior.
Passive-aggressive behavior is an indirect, unhealthy way that some people address their negative feelings. Passive-aggressiveness may be one way that a perpetually angry person expresses their anger so that they don’t need to address the issue directly.
Why? Well, they may understand that they are angry and not want a direct confrontation. A direct confrontation could lead to a fight which may have a negative outcome for them. Discretion is required when addressing anger in the workplace or relationships, otherwise, it can cause serious problems.
3. They display physical aggression.
Anger often manifests as physical aggression because it can affect one’s impulse control. Furthermore, the perpetual anger reduces one’s tolerance for stress by increasing frustration. That certainly doesn’t mean that all people experiencing irritability are prone to aggression. Most are not.
However, an angry person may do things like pick fights, slam doors, throw objects, or engage in other physically destructive behavior. Men, in particular, may pick physical fights as a subconscious, maladaptive coping mechanism. It’s not common knowledge, but men who pick physical fights are often self-harming.
4. They blame others for their problems.
Anger clouds judgment. Judgment is necessary for self-reflection and acceptance of one’s own flaws. A person who can’t reflect on their own actions and flaws often isn’t able to accept responsibility. Instead, they blame others for their problems or their anger.
Granted, sometimes other people do contribute to problems that rightfully cause anger. However, that anger should not be so disruptive to one’s life that it costs them their relationships or opportunities. They may wind up destroying relationships and blaming others for not tolerating their anger.
5. They may not be able to communicate calmly.
People with anger issues often have a low tolerance for handling their emotions. The cushion that we have for dealing with difficult feelings may be thin and spread out. Thus, the person with anger problems may not be able to communicate well regarding their emotions.
Any conversation about their emotions may explode into anger because the emotions pierce that thin cushion. Avoiding the conversation or not talking about their feelings is easier because it’s hard to get through emotional conversations even when everything is good.
6. They have frequent outbursts.
Impulsiveness is common with persistent anger. The person’s rage may surface as yelling and shouting, even over the smallest of inconveniences. Tolerance for disruption is low because they are constantly feeling agitated with the source of their anger.
The person may be impossible to communicate with, and others may feel like they are walking on eggshells so as to not set them off. Others know that if they do set the person off, then they will likely get pulled into an argument or worse.
7. They hold grudges.
Angry people hold grudges because anger makes it difficult to accept and forgive bad situations. A grudge is the result of a bad situation or a wrong that was done to another person. If you wrong an angry person, they may want revenge instead of a resolution.
These grudges can last a long, long time—sometimes years. The angry person may hold onto it long after the source of their grudge has moved on from it. That anger really only hurts the person who is experiencing it.
8. They overgeneralize situations.
People who live in a constant state of anger don’t necessarily see nuance. Their minds are amped up, so they tend to see the world in the extremes of black and white.
They use terms like “always” and “never” when arguing because they see others’ actions as black and white. That causes other people to get defensive because there’s generally more nuance to their actions. They may not be trying to be offensive or difficult, yet the angry person interprets their actions that way.
9. They escalate situations quickly.
Angry people may take small issues that could be resolved with a little understanding and explode them into something they’re not. They don’t necessarily think clearly or evaluate the nuances of situations accurately. Instead, they are prone to acting out on their anger over perceived slights.
Naturally, this damages relationships and the quality of life of the angry person. They may lose jobs, opportunities, friendships, romantic relationships, and all kinds of things that may rely on socialization because other people don’t want to put up with that. Certainly, no one with healthy boundaries will.
