When someone is incredibly self-centered, they’ll do these things without realizing.
Me me me! That’s what some people are like. They are so caught up in their own little world that the wants, wishes, or demands of others don’t even factor into their thinking. And, of course, this is only one of the behaviors you’ll find in these self-centered individuals. Here are some others.
1. They monopolize conversations.
A conversation is typically shared by everyone present. That is, everyone gets some of the time they need to express themselves and participate in the conversation. However, people who are self-centered make the conversation all about themselves. Dr. Amanda Rose and Dr. Rebecca Schwartz-Mette of the University of Maine call this behavior ‘conversational self-focus’.
Typically, a person engaged in conversational self-focus won’t actually be listening even though they pretend they are. Instead, they are just waiting for the conversation to reach a point where they can talk about themselves again.
2. They interrupt others.
In conversation, they may interrupt others because a pathologically self-centered person doesn’t see other people as all that important. The self-centered person already assumes that the person they’re interrupting doesn’t have anything meaningful to contribute.
Of course, this is a blatant sign of disrespect that is obvious when you understand what’s happening. In many cases, they will be self-aware enough to not interrupt people they view as more important than them, such as a boss at work.
3. They have a dismissive attitude toward others.
Self-centered people do not take the feelings of others seriously. They will often adopt a dismissive attitude because they don’t think others’ struggles are significant or as important as their own.
Low empathy is a common trait. Empathy is just the ability to put yourself in another’s shoes and try to relate to how they may be feeling. Self-centered people struggle to do that because they only care about their own feelings and perceptions.
4. They overreact to criticism.
Criticism is part of life. Ideally, we receive constructive criticism so we can learn and grow. Unfortunately, plenty of people receive negative and unhealthy criticism. A self-centered person sees no difference between the two. All they see is that someone criticized them.
They often take that as a personal insult because how could this other person know better than they do? They can’t, so what right does this other person have to criticize? Their over-sensitivity can make it hard to have difficult conversations.
5. They have an excessive need for validation.
Dr. Michael McGee asserts that self-centeredness and the need for external validation often stem from emotional pain or unhappiness with oneself. It can be the result of trauma, or an over-correction for poor self-esteem and self-worth. The person feels like they need to be perfect to be acceptable because their perspective is unhealthy.
As a result, they regularly need external validation as a means of reassuring themselves that they are good enough. They may prod for validation subtly or even go so far as to demand to hear how good of a job they did on a particular thing.
6. They constantly blame others.
A self-centered person generally believes that others are not at their level. They don’t make mistakes, so it always needs to be someone else’s fault. Or, they may fully understand that it’s their mistake, but they may not be willing to admit that they can make a mistake.
They lack responsibility and accountability. They are untrustworthy because you can’t ever rely on them to tell the truth if something goes wrong. And something will, sooner or later. That’s just how everything works. No one is perfect, despite what the self-centered person believes.
7. They minimize others’ achievements.
Everyone needs their time in the spotlight when it comes to their achievements. There’s nothing wrong with acknowledging a job well done or meeting a goal. However, the self-centered person is unable to share the limelight with anyone.
They are one-uppers. Anything you’ve done, they’ve done it better. Did you go on a vacation? They went on a better one. Did you buy a new car? Theirs is newer and better. Did you get a promotion at work? Well, did you really deserve that, anyway?
8. They impose their personal priorities on others.
Self-centered people rarely care about what other people want or need. When they do, it’s usually in the context of what is most beneficial for them. They may also view any kind of help as transactional in nature because they were willing to give you some of their precious time.
They often expect other people to prioritize their needs, regardless of that person’s wants or needs. They may do things like volunteer you for activities, expect you to do work for them, or otherwise act without consideration. Anything you need done can wait.
9. They are emotionally manipulative.
Self-centered people need to be the center of attention, and they will do just about anything to get it. They often use traditional emotional manipulation to gain control of a situation or the attention they need.
They may not realize that they are using guilt, pity, or other emotional manipulation tactics to get what they want. Instead, their mind naturally gravitates toward manipulation because it’s the easiest way for them to get the attention they want. Some, however, know exactly what they’re doing.
10. They are overly competitive.
Social interactions aren’t a competition. But, for self-centered people, just about any interaction can turn into a competition. They feel the inherent need to prove themselves constantly, so they assume that they need to go on the offensive to be ahead of the other person.
Of course, this kind of behavior is unbearable and incredibly stressful. No one wants to feel like a benign conversation is going to turn into something unpleasant just by having the conversation. The natural result of that behavior is that people just stop talking to the self-centered person.
