These behaviors indicate potential attraction.
While some people are thoroughly comfortable telling others that they’re attracted to them, others are more subtle in their approach. Alternatively, some people have no idea that they’re letting someone know their interest in them goes beyond platonic camaraderie. Watch out for the 12 behaviors listed below, as they’re often surefire signs that someone’s into you.
1. They pay attention to what’s important to you.
According to marriage experts, when someone remembers the littlest things about you, it’s likely because they’re into you. You may have mentioned in passing that you’ve always loved orchid mantids or armadillos, and never gave that conversation a second thought. Fast forward to a special occasion like a birthday or milestone achievement, and this person gives you a gift that centers around the thing that you love.
Alternatively, they may keep apprised of causes you’re passionate about, and let you know when a related event occurs. They may even organize a fundraising event to help donate to an organization that means everything to you.
2. They share their special interests with you.
For many people, sharing their special, silly, potentially embarrassing interests is only something they do when they really like someone. When interacting with most people, they’ll stick to neutral topics that aren’t likely to make anyone think they’re weird.
In contrast, when they’re attracted to someone and want to get closer to them, they’ll want to share whatever special thing means a lot to them, whether it’s their obsession with vintage Babylon 5 memorabilia or their passion for rare goat breeds.
3. They change themselves to be more like you (or how they think you’d like them to be).
You’ve likely noticed that some of your friends or family members have changed dramatically when they’ve started dating someone new — often picking up habits, phrases, clothing styles, and overall personality traits of the people they got involved with.
If a person you know suddenly starts to dress like you do or talks about the same interests you have, that’s a solid sign that they’re into you. Essentially, they’re trying to transform themselves into what they think is your ideal partner.
4. They find reasons to show up at places you frequent.
This is common in situations where the person who’s attracted to you is somehow involved in your social circle. They may pay attention to your personal schedule so they can “bump into you” at the bar or cafe that you frequent. If you’re a barista or a server, they might spend more time than usual at your workplace.
When you do run into them at these places, they’ll always be delighted to see you and may try to offer a hug or initiate other physical contact.
5. They give you little presents.
Maybe a colleague leaves a cool rock on your desk that they found on their way to work, the same way that otters present pebbles to potential mates. This is equivalent to a stranger buying you a drink at a bar to let you know they’re interested in you, only far less creepy.
Even though this person is attracted to you physically, the gifts they present are rarely suggestive. Instead, they’ll offer little tokens like a link to a Spotify playlist they made just for you.
6. They make things for you.
For some people, making things for someone they’re interested in is far more meaningful than buying something generic. To them, putting time and effort into creating something special will show the person they like what their intentions are.
As such, if someone in your social circle has made something for you, be aware of the potential intention behind their action. That handmade knit scarf or carved wooden spoon might be a not-so-subtle hint that they’d like to get closer to you.
7. They need to be reminded to leave.
If they’re with a group of friends and meet up with you at a bar or cafe, their friends might need to remind them half a dozen times that they need to go, but they still find an excuse to say “Just one more thing” to you.
This person would much prefer to stay with you and talk for hours, with the hope of potentially being asked back to your place to talk just a little while longer. Or for something else.
8. They roast you.
If playful abuse is one of their love languages, they’ll find ways to burn you in the most exquisite ways possible. Should you find yourself noticing that someone is always on your ass about something — making fun of you, teasing you, playfully insulting you — that’s a surefire sign that they’re into you.
In a case like this, know that they’ll welcome being roasted in turn. As such, if this interest is reciprocated, feel free to dish it right back to them.
9. Their posture changes.
This may be a subtle thing to look out for, but observe whether those around you adjust their posture when you walk into a room. People who aren’t attracted to you won’t shift position at all: they might wave or nod hello or call out to you, but will remain slouched or sprawled as they are.
In contrast, a person who’s attracted to you will suddenly sit or stand up straight, pull their shoulders back, and give you their full attention immediately.
10. They are clumsy or awkward around you.
They’re all over the place around you: dropping things, tripping over their own feet, stumbling over their words when they speak, or making mistakes if you watch them try to do anything. Provided that this person isn’t having a stroke, they’re probably just feeling immensely awkward because of their attraction towards you. According to Dr Chloe Carmichael, a clinical psychologist and author of “Dr. Chloe’s 10 Commandments of Dating”, a little awkwardness is a telltale sign they are interested.
People who aren’t interested in you in that way won’t care much about what you think of them. It’s those who are attracted to you that will be excruciatingly vigilant about potential missteps or embarrassment.
11. They run away from you.
In some situations, when a person sees the one they’re crushing on, they’ll run away from them as quickly as possible. They do this to avoid potential humiliation, especially if they aren’t particularly gifted with social graces.
This can also happen if a person has severe rejection sensitivity. They may be so terrified of showing vulnerability and potentially getting hurt by their crush that they’d rather create distance between you as a means of protecting themselves, even if it means that their interest remains unrequited.
12. They ask you for help with things.
According to Dr Elena Tourini, a consultant psychologist at the Chelsea Psychology Clinic, when someone is interested in you, they are very willing to offer their help without you asking first.
This often happens in a work or school environment, but can also take place in social gatherings. Essentially, this person is trying to create an opportunity to talk to you. By placing you in a position where you’re helping them with something, they’re beckoning you close while making you feel admired and needed.
They might be perfectly capable of opening that item or retrieving that file by themselves, but asking you for help brings you into closer proximity, as well as creating a stronger connection between you.
